[Raegan]

I have 4 grown kids and just got our 9th grandchild...2 more due in May. We have kicked around plans of where they would go if the have to bug out. They all have option of coming to us or to the inlaws. All of us are in the same state. Both very good options for them. 2 safe places in opposite directions. It eases my mind that they have help pretty much anyway they need to go. What I am struggling with is this Mama wants her kids with her...If the kids have to go the inlaw route they will be in the other end of the state (Utah) from us. My daughters seem to have us in mind as their first option and my daughters in law are leaning toward their families (their Mamas). The ultimate goal is for them to be safe and I want them to get either place asap without feeling conflicted. I am struggling hard to deal with the fact some or maybe all of my kids will end up hundreds of miles from me with little to no communication depending on what kind of shtf. Any advice or counsel for this Mom?

 

[PalmettoTree]

Formulate bug out plans to both. Then chose depending on events.

North Utah would be my preference over Southern Utah just to get away from Mexico.

 

[BigCheeseStick]

I think this is a case where off grid communications are of primary importance. If both sets of parents involved had short wave, or some other kind of communications with each other that will function when cell phones go down as happened quickly in every past shtf situation that comes to mind, among other uses, it would provide GREAT peace of mind to hear "we're here safe and sound mom!".

 

[PalmettoTree]

I agree. My problem is the son and son-in-law are in the military. That leaves open a lot of questions.

 

[shotlady]

both of my marines are oath keepers. I don't worry for them. I do tell them not to try to get to me ill hold my own. they are better off where they are and forming their own groups.

 

[BeefBallsBerry]

This is something I deal with everyday. I have to go with biblical beliefs on this..that a woman should listen and obey their husband(I'm not saying be a slave of course) but its just how I feel. Plus I know when its time to bug it they would b better with me. For survival reasons

 

[TMCertified]

While this post doesn't exactly pertain to me now, it is something I have thought about. We have 5 kids right now and the chances of having grand kids are probably pretty high in the future However, thinking about that and prepping for that can be kind of hectic. On top of that my wife is the oldest of 4 sisters and have a feeling that when the tomatoes hit the wall (my wife and I came up with that since I didn't like SHTF, lol) her siblings and families will probably come to us. So it is a little nerve racking to try and figure out what we will do because not only are we going to have to take care of our kids, and eventually them and grand kids, then friends and immediate family, it can be a little crazy.

 

[Raegan]

Update: when I started this thread I said we are expecting 2 new grandbabies in May....well as of yesterday change that to 3...one of the mommies is having twins! Very excited and very nervous...twins come with a whole new set of potential complications But only positive thoughts are allowed! This will bring us to an even dozen. Grandkids rock!

 

[Montana Rancher]

When it comes to the X generation believe me they are much more aware than the older generations.

I recently helped outfit a bug out bag for my oldest daughters boyfriend, he basically has a backpack but he knew enough to ask questions and come to me. I drew from my sizeable stocks and filled in the items he was missing.

I instructed him on the signs of the SHTF and told him when that happens he would be welcome at my retread IF my daughter was with him.

I also have 5 children, and all of them understand my position on the imminent collapse of our society, I want them all here, and as they are willing I help them to prepare for it. Truth be told 2 of the 5 thing I am loco and will probably not make it here.

 

[TMCertified]

That is the problem Montana Rancher with most. We try to stay as relevant as possible to avoid the loco comment. It is easier in Florida because we all know Hurricanes here and with Katrina and Sandy being recent and devastating it is easy to point to that and ask if they are prepared for a month without power and easy access to food and basic necessities as things try to rebuild. I use that as a starting point and it is the main reason for our prepping, but we are aware of bigger situations that could arise and will continue to prep for those as well. However, what got us started is knowing that we, not if, but when we will be hit with another hurricane. So from that stand point it is easier to talk to our relatives about it and family without sounding crazy. Now in Montana.....not sure how many natural disasters or things that are easier to convey to the public. We also are starting our kids out really young so they understand this is normal not the other way around.

 

[arizonaopa]

Since the kids, inlaws, and grandkids all live in the same area, we will meet up here. This will give us enough supplies and protection until we can find an even safer place.

 

[paraquack]

Now in AZ my problems haven't changed as far as the children. My son I wouldn't want anywhere around me! I can't trust him any farther than I could toss a B-52. His ex (we got custody of his wife in the divorce decree, LOL) now re-married with a little girl and re-divorced a few years later are by her mom in Wis. The woman he was going to marry and gave her a boy (now 20) was smart enough to see what my son was and never married my son. They are in Tampa, FL and her parents are at the north end of S. Carolina on the beach. I have talked with all of them, gently of course, about prepping and got no where. My grandson's other grandfather is a Virginia Beach LEO. At a joint Christmas get together in Tampa, I was surprised to find he has some good prepping because of hurricanes, but .... I can only pray for all of them.

 

[NWPilgrim]

My goal as a parent was to raise my kids so they could and would make the best informed and independent decision for their family. They started off scattered all over but have migrated closer to us over the tears. We support and encourage their decisions and discuss options or ideas as they want input. The oldest for sure will bug in with us if needed, but the youngest has husband in military so hard to say where they will be. But I am confident he will move heaven and earth to care for them no matter the situation.

It is hard not to try to persuade them but in the end I prefer they live their own lives. So far it seems by respecting their decisions, they end up closer to us.

 

[Boss Dog]

I have 4 grown children & 6 (so far) grands. One + her 2 live with me and she is fully on-board. Son is still single and active duty so he has an assignment and provisions. If/when he gets out I'm sure he will hook up with us. Other 2 have chosen not so wisely both in men and prepping. I don't trust either of their men, sad but they've made their choice. They can do it, if they decide to. Another thing to consider is I have a mother an a sister who could not go it alone when the storm hits. We have to make plans for them also.

 

[Kidzthinkimahoarder]

I have a 19 y.o, and a 15 y.o, and I know the oldest will fly the coop at some point followed by the youngest eventually. In all honesty, its a scary thing to have to even deal with on my end if they choose to leave home when the time comes. I'm one of those mommas that doesn't care if my boys live with me till we are all old and gray. But, I also believe that's my way of avoiding what's coming. I have told myself this for years because I can't stand to see them go,(I know they have to do what they have to do) and then what if something was to happen, what if they can't make it back to me....are they prepared enough in what we've taught them thru the years to make the right decisions and to get home?

I honestly don't think I could handle it if something was to happen to either one of them. Life sucks and throws you curve balls on an everyday basis, and something could happen before the SHTF, God help me if it does. I'd rather give my life and last breath to save theirs. I just couldn't stand the thought....

 

[PaulS]

Don't you think your mother felt the same way?
You teach more just by living every day than anyone else in their lives teaches them in all the years in school or all the friendships in which they interact.
They will continue to learn but you have built the foundation upon which they will build their lives.

 

[kjoberk]

Speaking as one of the "grown kids" (not OPs, obviously), but my husband is military. We live in California, my parents are in Washington and his are in the Midwest. We've talking about the possibility of heading to my parents house *if needed*. It would drive my mom crazy knowing that we stayed put, but we're working on planning to hold our own as long as we can. We live on a military installation (which has it's pros and cons) and we have three kids (two of them are 3 and younger right now) that need to be taken care of. My oldest is only 7, but she's learning how to shoot a .22 and we are planning on teaching her survival skills.

You're very lucky that all of your kids live close enough to both you and the Inlaws to have that kind of choice. I wish we did. Or at least lived closer....because with no stopping (except for gas) and perfect traffic it would take us a full day (19 hours to get to my parents house).

I hop everyone can come up with a plan that makes everyone happy.

 

[tirednurse]

I have a 19 y.o, and a 15 y.o, and I know the oldest will fly the coop at some point followed by the youngest eventually. In all honesty, its a scary thing to have to even deal with on my end if they choose to leave home when the time comes. I'm one of those mommas that doesn't care if my boys live with me till we are all old and gray. But, I also believe that's my way of avoiding what's coming. I have told myself this for years because I can't stand to see them go,(I know they have to do what they have to do) and then what if something was to happen, what if they can't make it back to me....are they prepared enough in what we've taught them thru the years to make the right decisions and to get home?

I honestly don't think I could handle it if something was to happen to either one of them. Life sucks and throws you curve balls on an everyday basis, and something could happen before the SHTF, God help me if it does. I'd rather give my life and last breath to save theirs. I just couldn't stand the thought....

I have been open with my children on this subject their whole lives. We have had the opportunity to try out these preps many times before and I think they have all learned there importance. Not that they will all follow through all the time, but at least they have the knowledge and the understanding of what to look for, and listen for to know what danger lays ahead of them so if need be they can do some thing about it quickly.
I have always felt that knowledge is the single most important thing we can give our kids. We can't hold their hands and guide them every step of the way, but we can give them the tools to use when they need them. The choice to use those tools will always be theirs and as parents we have to learn to step away and accept that.
I hate motorcycles because of what a danger they are and would hate one of my kids to ever decide to get one, but I can tell an adult child he/she is not allowed to can I? same principle...........I can ask that they take safety precautions while riding the death trap and hope they will comply, but if they don't and get hurt there is nothing I can do about it.

 

[paraquack]

I think you people have gotten a little more then just a little off topic here.

This is a communications forum - not a general comments forum.

You are talking about family problems and not communications solutions.. Who cares what your kids did after they flew the nest. If they want to screw up their lives - you raised them wrong! Maybe the person you should blame is the person looking back at you each morning in the mirror!

While I tend to agree with you that a lot of kids attitudes and lifestyles are a direct result of how they were raised by their parents, I feel you might be lumping too many people into that bag. My son was raised to be respectful, honest and giving, etc. Basically he was raised as I was by my mother. However, be it genetic or other, he turned out just like my father, his grandfather. So until you walk the proverbial mile in my or anyone else's shoes, I wouldn't make such broad reaching statements of FACT. Especially on this forum. If you don't care for a thread or post (which is titled for your convenience), save your time and don't bother reading it and then proselytizing to and about people you know nothing about and apparently don't care about.

You know the more I think about your post, the more you remind me of my son and father. By the way, have a real good Thanksgiving and I actually do mean that, because unlike you I actually care about other people, whether I know them in person or online. Well, there are a couple of people I have clicked on the ignore button.

P.S. for a newbie with less than 10 days in the forum, you seem to be overly critical.

 

[tirednurse]

While I tend to agree with you that a lot of kids attitudes and lifestyles are a direct result of how they were raised by their parents, I feel you might be lumping too many people into that bag. My son was raised to be respectful, honest and giving, etc. Basically he was raised as I was by my mother. However, be it genetic or other, he turned out just like my father, his grandfather. So until you walk the proverbial mile in my or anyone else's shoes, I wouldn't make such broad reaching statements of FACT. Especially on this forum. If you don't care for a thread or post (which is titled for your convenience), save your time and don't bother reading it and then proselytizing to and about people you know nothing about and apparently don't care about.

You know the more I think about your post, the more you remind me of my son and father. By the way, have a real good Thanksgiving and I actually do mean that, because unlike you I actually care about other people, whether I know them in person or online. Well, there are a couple of people I have clicked on the ignore button.

P.S. for a newbie with less than 10 days in the forum, you seem to be overly critical.

Thanks Paraquack was thinking the same about the person mentioned. Too many comment showing disregard for others and a bigoted male chauvinistic ass will show their true colors very quickly.
Not someone I would want to know in tshtf situation. Probably turn into the one that ends up forming the gang that tries to overrun other real preppers. Take what they can from others who have worked hard to prepare. Obviously disrespects women, so watch out cause he will be the one raping your daughters.
So sorry if I'm wrong and have gotten the wrong impression, but I have seen too many people like this not to recognize them.