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So as many of you may know I have been back from Afghanistan for some time now and yet the dreams are still there. The coming home to cheating wife and then finally as of the 19th a divorce finalized.

I drank the other night polishing off a gallon and a half of Kesslers Whiskey in an attempt at a Whiskey Lullaby.

So here I sit on New Years with IV pumps and very worried doctors. I currently have alcohol poisoning. For those of you out there that didn't know this like me there is a level of intoxication in which your blood becomes so mixed with alcohol that your body starts a shut down mode and in turn you have alcohol poisoning.

I know that I may get a lot of bad comments and a lot of respect lost if there was any good respect towards me in the first place. I would like to clear up that this was not an attempted suicide, I drank to drink my thoughts and sorrows away wishing only to pass out and forget it all and now I am in the hospital.

I lay here in this most uncomfortable bed thinking of how many people out there have felt the way I do or if they would come to a situation like this in a WROl event.

People learn from this pathetic story and take this new year in stride. Set goals and complete them. Don't let the past and emotions get the best of you. We as humans are very weak and yet so very very strong. I have fallen to the way side but I will cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war on my problems and I will raise stronger for it.

Thank you all for being here for me when I need it.

With much love

Wishing you all a very happy new year.
 

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Praying for a speedy recovery.

We all trip and fall. It's what you do afterward that really counts. Hang in there, you'll be ok.
 

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Just remember you got there because of a worthless cheating bitch so why don't you get out of the hospital and start getting your life on track. You have to stop drinking because it's only going to make things worse. Get a pen and a piece of paper and start writing out what you have to get done this year. How is employment? living situation? Set goals and stick to it. So which dream is it? The gun doesn't work? Or it does but it hardly makes a noise? Is it the same event over and over? Guess what they are not going away anytime soon. You have to work it out and it's going to take time and there is help.
 

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It will turn out fine in the end..

Happy New Year everyone. New Years is the one holiday where we usually stay home. Or go to a hotel party where we can stay the evening. I always call New Years 'Amateur Hour". It's the yuppies and others that don't party that often and make it a big party. I party enough for the rest of the year where this is our relaxing day..lol Sit home, stay sober and not having to worry about some drunk asshole running into us on the road somewhere between bars or on the way home!!

Happy New Year!!!
 

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God sent you a message - not ready for you yet. Sounds like you heard the message and have taken the first step to recovery. Best wishes for a speedy recovery and don't be a stranger.
 

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I'm on wife #4. After my 3rd marriage I SWORE I'd never get married again. About 10yrs later I met my current wife. We have been married 25yrs and are the best of friends. As opposite as they come but we really enjoy each others company. I couldn't imagine growing old with anyone else.

The reason I tell you this part of my life is so that you know anything is possible. There is someone else for you, just give it time.

1st you do need to get your life back on track. It's not easy but it's worth it. There is help out there if you need it and you can always come here. I have never been to war, nor been a soldier. There are many here who have and have made it through. You can too.
 

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I wish you the best of luck my friend, the military can be a cruel mistress. But you survived this, obviously your x-wife was not worth your time-I know its easy to say move on, but you can do it. I came home from Iraq to an empty house and a wedding ring taped to the refrigerator, I survived it and you can too.
 

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No bad comments. No lost respect. Just a lot of guys glad that you came back here and a lot of prayers for your speedy recovery and your comfort in the difficult decisions you have to make. Be well Sir.
 

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Be well, Brother. First you win this battle, and then you face and win the next, but you don't have to do it alone.
 

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My Daughter came back from her first tour in Afganistan and (being attached to the 101 Airborne) quickly became disenfranchised with the current war on terror.

So she got out and joined a reserve unit. When the local doctor said she should go on anti-depressants she politely said "no thanks I'll just get a dog"

She is doing very well at this point, and her dog is pulling her through.

This may not apply to you, but think about it, my daughter is smarter than you think.
 

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MR, your kiddo is a genius. There are actually specially trained Service dogs for returning Vets, but even a good rescue mutt can be the most loyal side kick ever.
 

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I know your pain...I really do. While my current wife didn't cheat on me on my recent deployment, my previous wife did and like an idiot I forgave her. Then my next deployment after that she dropped me off to ship off and left, telling me she wouldn't be there when I came home because she met someone else.

I'm also not the greatest looking guy out there, and I say this to preface the next gem of wisdom I am going to give you (ladies forgive me here, but he needs to hear it this way): No bitch is worth taking your own life over. Period. End of story.

Now as for the PTSD, brother - get that shit sorted. I have mild-moderate PTSD (they can't decide, one shrink says mild and another says moderate). You sound like you have a little worse than I do. Regardless, even with my low level of PTSD, you know what I *DON'T* do? I don't drink! Alcohol and PTSD is the worst combination EVER. It's stupid, dangerous to you and anyone around you. So stop.

I don't know ya, I don't even know your "internet history". Given what you said in your own post, you're a bit of a drama magnet and crying for attention. You do realize that internet attention is crap, right? Words on a screen that last only as long as I type them and stay on the computer. You need real, flesh and blood people in your life to be at your side. I can't help you anymore than this - they can get you through the serious shit. If you are shutting the real ones out for us digitized ones - you're making a mistake that can be fixed. Reverse it now.

I've thought about suicide many times, but I never once took the step to check out because I give myself many reasons to keep going. I have a kid that I love more than anything else, so there is that. Now that he is old enough, I start thinking of other reasons. Most are just reasons to amuse myself, such as being a pain in the ass to my ex, or figuring out ways to piss off society and politicians, or maybe by finding a way to mentor some younger military guys so they never go through the crap I've gone through.

There's always a reason.

And women are never a reason to kill yourself over...and there is always another one out there. You are at a place and time in your head where you don't want to hear it - but it is the most true statement of all. After my divorce I thought "no way...boo hoo hoo no one will ever love me". After I got over that bullshit, I started dating and dating and dating. I was doing some revenge dating, self destructive dating (dating women I knew were bad or wrong for me), and even just dating any chick that would give me the time of day. Well after awhile of that I stopped..then I met my current wife (and she is a hottie today as much as she was when I met her). Much more than I deserve, but I will be the man she deserves.

All YOU have to do is give yourself the time to heal and recover from all the bullshit. It doesn't happen overnight or even after a few months. It's a long hard road. You need flesh and blood people to support you, not an internet forum of strangers who will forget you when their computers shut off.

You ****ing survived Afghanistan god damn it. That's big shit. You can survive this small shit. It IS small shit, it's just a lot of it at once. Once you put it into that perspective and rack/stack it...you'll start to see the forest for the trees and the light, blah blah blah (pick your favorite catch phrase).

Air Power mother ****er....:p
 

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A couple of things,

Sorry you are in this position, Buck up little soldier.

Kesslers really, that stuff sucks, went on a bender on it when I was young, I like bourbon, but I pass it by for something better.

You need to find your self a fat assed farm girl, guys go out and cheat on there woman all the time and brag about it. The other way around really hurts. I hope you learned something about how to treat a new girl if she is true. Love her and she will love you. If she don't love you get a new one, statistically there are a lot of them out their.
 
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