If you're looking for a rifle, then obviously you're looking to reach out and still have some punch, I think the .223/5.56 excels as a light rifle. It'll let you reach out well past the 9mm carbines and still have enough energy left to deal with any threat that may arise. Any semi-auto .223 should be manageable for her as recoil is minimal, weight might be an issue for her though but I can't imagine it would be much better with a 9mm carbine. I get the commonality of ammo angle but for my money if I'm going to carry a rifle I want a rifle cartridge in the chamber not a handgun cartridge. I might change that opinion if I was guaranteed that any engagements would be less than 100yds but there's no way to guarantee that.
-Infidel
-Infidel