[Dunbar]

I use to think that; "If I got out of the Military, there is no way I could fit in with civilians". "How can they know what strength, commitment, and loyalty is"? With this thinking, I have pushed many people away... My co-workers, family, and people that tried to be my friend.

I can not shake it. I know my empathy levels must be low. I Do Care about people. I would go into the burning building for anyone. But I still have an inner monologue that says, "you don't know cold, heat, pain, and distress".

My cousin is worse than I am. He cannot commit to a relationship. Drinking. Always in fights. But once a year, we get together and trade stories, drink some beer, and tell some lies.

I was wondering if anyone else has the same experiences, or problems?

(Please don't get me wrong - I am not trying to instigate, degrade, or put down anyone)

 

[Denton]

LOL!
I am still a tad condescending toward civilians and I've been out of the army for twenty years.
Matter of fact, I joined the air reserve a few years ago, and am still a bit snooty with them as, at 49, I smoke most of the others at the PT test.

Go ahead, let a pudgy little civvie tell me he is cold. He is going to get bored to death hearing about walking sentry dogs through the woods of Germany all night long in the winter. :grin:

Get over it. Most people have never pushed themselves, they have no idea and don't want to know. They'd rather watch some war movie and then dream of doing what you have done. You are different. Get on with who you are, and realize they are who they are.

 

[LunaticFringeInc]

I agree with Denton so much on this issue.

I havent been retired all that long, but man I still aint really adjusted. Civilians just dont think about things from the same angle. Civilians cant tell the difference in co-operation and being a Team Player. Supervisors dont know the difference in managing and leading.

The younger Generation...the under 30 crowd, for the most are pretty much brain dead and hardly have a freaking clue! When they sing the National Anthem, they sing it with the following words...Oh say can you see, Whats in it for me....etc

 

[inceptor]

The younger Generation...the under 30 crowd, for the most are pretty much brain dead and hardly have a freaking clue! When they sing the National Anthem, they sing it with the following words...Oh say can you see, Whats in it for me....etc

I can't argue with that. But, then again, this is what society has taught them. It started in the 60's and escalated from there. And it's not just the younger crowd. Look around. It's like an epidemic of me has hit this nation.

I was classified 4f so I could not get in the military but even I can see what's happening.

 

[SSGT]

Ditto on all of it from a 13B / 63D!

Still a tad condescending toward civilian's? I'm a hell of a lot condescending! I dont make friends at all! Civillians dont have a clue! I live as a hermit pretty much...I mean I talk to neihbors but keep them at a distance. I've got 4 other neihbors that do the same...all ex military...Older vets

Jeeze... Guard Duty at NATO-23 outside Nurnberg Germany (Air Defense Missile and Nuclear Artillery ammo Site) If I had a buck for every mile I walked around winter and summer and every patrol we did I'd be filthy rich! LOL!



SSGT

 

[Lucky Jim]

I use to think that; "If I got out of the Military, there is no way I could fit in with civilians". "How can they know what strength, commitment, and loyalty is"?..

I've never been in the military but I hate sloppiness just as much as you and avoid bozos, jerks and dickheads like the plague because they're boring pains-in-the-ass and I want nothing to do with them..

"If you hang around with losers you become a loser"- Donald Trump

"The first method of estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him"- Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

"Bad company corrupts good character" (Bible:1 Corinthians 15:33)

"The main thing in life is to be surrounded by good men" -Fieldmarshal Friedrich von Paulus

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those be well-tried before you give them your confidence" -George Washington

"He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm" (Bible: Proverbs 13:20)

"Associate yourself with men of good quality,for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company"- George Washington

 

[whoppo]

It is kinda cold in here... :?

 

[Lucky Jim]

As a lifelong civilian, I never joined the military because I knew I was too much of a strong-willed s.o.b to be able to take orders and bullshit!
But I've always taken an interest in military affairs and have won trophies and stuff for computer tactical wargaming, beating opponents who include serving military men and officers.
I also write articles for internet military discussion forums under my wargaming name of 'Poor Old Spike'.
I bin around..

 

[MikeyPrepper]

Def great read

 

[rice paddy daddy]

I use to think that; "If I got out of the Military, there is no way I could fit in with civilians". "How can they know what strength, commitment, and loyalty is"? With this thinking, I have pushed many people away... My co-workers, family, and people that tried to be my friend.

I can not shake it. I know my empathy levels must be low. I Do Care about people. I would go into the burning building for anyone. But I still have an inner monologue that says, "you don't know cold, heat, pain, and distress".

My cousin is worse than I am. He cannot commit to a relationship. Drinking. Always in fights. But once a year, we get together and trade stories, drink some beer, and tell some lies.

I was wondering if anyone else has the same experiences, or problems?

(Please don't get me wrong - I am not trying to instigate, degrade, or put down anyone)

Completely normal, my friend.
The only people I care to be around are veterans and recovering alcoholics.

 

[Mule13]

OP,

i had noticed this same attitude myself after getting out fo the military. i never made new friends when i got out. my thinking on it was this:
being in the military you form strong bonds with guys and gals that share the same hardships as you. then in a few years you or them pcs somewhere and you dont see them again for some years or forever.
or even worse you see them die in combat. so in a sense the military life trains you not to make lasting relationships on a sorta subconscious level i guess.

really glad i read this post always thought this was just something that i did there i go thinking i'm special again lol


John

 

[Jae]

Im still in, and part scares me too.. but in the end if you can make it in the service...your already tougher than most.. you'll be fine man.. get with more people who have got out or pick up a good hobby and connect through another passion in your life.

keep ya head low.
worse comes to worse you always got us haha

 

[trainershawn]

I'll go along with this. I haven't really made new friends, except the ones my wife makes me hang out with, since I joined the military. I still get together with a couple guys I served with who live near me. I connect with some other guys from the Army on FB. But yah, I don't make new friends easily. I tried hanging out with some of the guys on the Fire Department, but I'm not into drinking and all that so I don't go out with them anymore. We are a brotherhood on the Fire Department, but it doesn't seem the same as in the Army. The guys I fought with in Iraq are my brothers for life. I'd do anything for any one of my brothers on the Fire Department, but they feel more like step brothers. We've seen and done some horrific things, but that's part of the job. I don't know about it all. I'm pretty much a loner now. And at 41, I really shouldn't be. I am a fitness trainer on my off time from work, and I tend to hang out more with other fitness professionals. Maybe it's because we all enjoy "clean living" or something. But yah, civvies just don't get it. They never will. But that's ok. I'm happy for spending over 14 years of my life in service to my country. And I'm blessed that I still get to serve my community. I guess once in awhile we meet some decent couples at Church that we go out with once in awhile too. But that's about it for me.

 

[SSGT]

I'll go along with this. I haven't really made new friends, except the ones my wife makes me hang out with, since I joined the military. I still get together with a couple guys I served with who live near me. I connect with some other guys from the Army on FB. But yah, I don't make new friends easily. I tried hanging out with some of the guys on the Fire Department, but I'm not into drinking and all that so I don't go out with them anymore. We are a brotherhood on the Fire Department, but it doesn't seem the same as in the Army. The guys I fought with in Iraq are my brothers for life. I'd do anything for any one of my brothers on the Fire Department, but they feel more like step brothers. We've seen and done some horrific things, but that's part of the job. I don't know about it all. I'm pretty much a loner now. And at 41, I really shouldn't be. I am a fitness trainer on my off time from work, and I tend to hang out more with other fitness professionals. Maybe it's because we all enjoy "clean living" or something. But yah, civvies just don't get it. They never will. But that's ok. I'm happy for spending over 14 years of my life in service to my country. And I'm blessed that I still get to serve my community. I guess once in awhile we meet some decent couples at Church that we go out with once in awhile too. But that's about it for me.

Ditto on the Brothers Shawn!...I don't do the church thing though...God may forgive but its hard to forgive yourself.

 

[Smitty901]

11B infantry. Psychologist once told me she did not understand soldiers and the Infantry was the biggest puzzle.
I told her not many do. I explained to her we were many people were Dads, Sons, husbands, grandfathers, friends. We were the ones that did dirty deeds in their name, We did what others could not .
Then we lived with it .
I do not fit in this world out here I have many reasons why. But it is knowing who I am that allows me to move on. Soldier face who you are you can not hide from you.
Find pride in what you had to do and not the shame others try to dump on you. Disregard the ignorant . You belong to something they will never understand. They have no way to understand it, no desire to.
I found so many many years ago drinking was the worst thing those like us could do. It makes it worst never better.
Remember who and what you are so very few can fill them boots so few.
Soldier's Creed

I am an American Soldier.

I am a warrior and a member of a team.

I serve the people of the United States, and live the Army Values.

I will always place the mission first.

I will never accept defeat.

I will never quit.

I will never leave a fallen comrade.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.

I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.

I am an expert and I am a professional.

I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy, the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.

I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.

I am an American Soldier.

We stumble we fall but we pick each other up and drive on that is what we do. Never surrender means so much more than just to the enemy on the battle field. This applies just as much on the side of the gate as the other.
In BDU's or jeans.

Something to think about

 

[Denton]

Ditto on all of it from a 13B / 63D!

Still a tad condescending toward civilian's? I'm a hell of a lot condescending! I dont make friends at all! Civillians dont have a clue! I live as a hermit pretty much...I mean I talk to neihbors but keep them at a distance. I've got 4 other neihbors that do the same...all ex military...Older vets

Jeeze... Guard Duty at NATO-23 outside Nurnberg Germany (Air Defense Missile and Nuclear Artillery ammo Site) If I had a buck for every mile I walked around winter and summer and every patrol we did I'd be filthy rich! LOL!

SSGT

59th Ord. Bgde. Yup. I had the pleasure of three tours with the bald-headed man eating...well, skip the last part.
Even had the honor of closing the Nike-Herc site at Hoenkirchen.
I'll say one thing; the world made better sense back then.

 

[shotlady]

I Can't Get Over It: A Handbook for Trauma Survivors:Amazon:Books

also i have a friend that did two tours in iraq. she runs benefiting veterans. she is now a shrink and will sit on the phone with you all night ifn you need her to for fre. it is all confidential.

https://www.facebook.com/#!/benefiting.veterans?fref=ts

is the facebook page. she goes to washin ton all the time. she can also help family members.

 

[jackreacher]

I use to think that; "If I got out of the Military, there is no way I could fit in with civilians". "How can they know what strength, commitment, and loyalty is"? With this thinking, I have pushed many people away... My co-workers, family, and people that tried to be my friend.

I can not shake it. I know my empathy levels must be low. I Do Care about people. I would go into the burning building for anyone. But I still have an inner monologue that says, "you don't know cold, heat, pain, and distress".

My cousin is worse than I am. He cannot commit to a relationship. Drinking. Always in fights. But once a year, we get together and trade stories, drink some beer, and tell some lies.

I was wondering if anyone else has the same experiences, or problems?

(Please don't get me wrong - I am not trying to instigate, degrade, or put down anyone)

Glad to see I'm not the only one. It got really bad after I got back from the sandbox(went over as a reservist) It's still bad.

When I went back to work I had a gangbanger come in and threaten me. I told him you don't scare me. I got back from an area where people blow themselves up for their god. Other times when people complain about mediocre shit I am thinking in my head STFU! then I want to put them in a sleep choke hold to shut them up.

 

[9UC]

I use to think that; "If I got out of the Military, there is no way I could fit in with civilians". "How can they know what strength, commitment, and loyalty is"? With this thinking, I have pushed many people away... My co-workers, family, and people that tried to be my friend. I can not shake it. I know my empathy levels must be low. I Do Care about people. I would go into the burning building for anyone. But I still have an inner monologue that says, "you don't know cold, heat, pain, and distress"......

Yes Brother, and I really do mean Brother in Arms, I do Salute you for your service. We make an art of pushing people away. Your empathy levels are not low, just buried under a mental barrier of defense and most people won't meet your standards. I only spent the first three years of my career in the Security Police, and one year, December 1967 through December 1968 in Vietnam, it changed me and it has haunted me since.
Best I can say is find someone to whom you can talk even if it's through PMs on this site. Just don't do as many of us have done, Hold it inside.

 

[shotlady]

i want to thank all you guys for your service, not just to this country but to go about trying to bring a voice to those who dont have liberties.
i am so grateful to you guys. as a blue star mom, i find i dont relate to other mothers (mothers of civilian kids) they dont know the darkness we live in while our kids are deployed.it even happens in our group. the army moms dont dare befriend a marine corp mom and niether of those two would befriend a navy or airforce mom. its odd, but the lines are there.