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A photo I took of a Chinese restaurant near Seattle:

View attachment 2421
I know that restaurant. They put that up because of my sister.

She doesn't go to the beach anymore either. Got tired of people throwing her back in the water yelling "Be free Shamoo, be free."

My sister is the only person in the country who actually knows whether or the not the light in the refrigerator actually stays on after the door closes.
 

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..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... Ha Ha Ha! ....................................................................................................
 

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I know that restaurant.
184 year old mama-san, who is all of 4'-10" is a real firecracker isn't she? :p - I loved that place even though the food was so-so. I will definitely drive out of my way to go back there again.
 

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MY LAST TRIP TO WALMART

Yesterday I was at my local Walmart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Fred, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

On impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Walmart won’t let me shop there anymore!
 

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MY LAST TRIP TO WALMART

Yesterday I was at my local Walmart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Fred, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

On impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Walmart won't let me shop there anymore!
That is the best one I have heard in a LONG time! Well done Sir! :mrgreen:
 

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MY LAST TRIP TO WALMART

Yesterday I was at my local Walmart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Fred, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

On impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Walmart won't let me shop there anymore!
Damnit, you got me so hard on this one.
 

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Two blondes decided they want to go to Disney World so they got into a car and headed down the highway.
It was a long drive, about 1/2 way down they came to a fork in the road with a sign that read "Disney World - Left", so they turned around and went home.
 

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A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a cop behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the cop's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the cop walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason I've never heard before for speeding like that, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State cop. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
 
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A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a cop behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the cop's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the cop walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason I've never heard before for speeding like that, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State cop. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
An oldie but goody! Never fails to make me smile. :mrgreen:
 
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