[SAR-1L]

I do believe safety is about a well-educated & well-trained community, who has people that are kind/civil with each other. Most people trying to solo a SHTF scenario would just get picked off, myself included.

I had a 45-minute online meeting with a guy online through a platform called Lunchclub, which after two months of it I wouldn't recommend as it is like awkward professional speed dating. This guy was giving me the sort of cult creep red flag vibes honestly. The being "open and vulnerable" tactic, I believe to try to find weak spots in the armor he could hook into. Kept asking about personal stuff that is none of his business. On top of a general answer for everything, even things I was never asking for a solution to.

One question that got me bristled up, was "So how do you reach out to people and make friends?" I told him that I don't.

First of all, I have a temperament and personal hangups from what I like to call "life's unfortunate events" that drive a lot of people away. I can't blame them, I'm not exactly a ball of joy to be around, and after the things I have seen, I don't have the most optimistic perspective of people and the way they treat others. I work the best I can on myself so I am not a burden to others, however, there are some things you can't just weld back together on a person to make them fit for the general public. People like me the best, and I feel most comfortable, when I have a job to do, I get paid, and then we part ways. I have a wife and two dogs and after a lifetime of having to figure out how to live without much positive social interaction, I don't need much. I really prefer my interactions brief, with a purpose, clean and simple.

Not telling anyone here, something they probably don't already know or feel about themselves. So I am curious, so are any of you socially inclined, community-oriented? If so how do you choose who to invest time into, and has it been reliable/accurate?

 

[Denton]

Yup. I’m not a social creature, either. My wife prefers I don’t go here not stores with her because my patience with people diminishes dramatically within seconds of crossing the threshold.
My best friend lives next door. He is more reclusive than I am. He is also a vet, which means we share training and that’ll come in handy during sporty times.

 

[Chipper]

Learned long time ago to avoid interaction with most people. Sure will go have a beer now and then at the local bar but it's when and if "I" want. Just to gossip with the neighbors. Other then the family that's all I need.

 

[Back Pack Hack]

I have very few close friends. Those who are I trust with my life. Everyone else is merely an 'acquaintance'.

 

[T-Man 1066]

I have very few close friends. Those who are I trust with my life. Everyone else is merely an 'acquaintance'.

This right here.

I have 3 friends, all who have been friends for 25-40 years, that I tell them anything you want or need, is yours. I am fiercely independent, try to be sociable to a point, but if I quarantined, someone would have to remind me, as most days I wouldn't realize it.

As for the acquaintances, easy come easy go.

 

[Slippy]

I do believe safety is about a well-educated & well-trained community, who has people that are kind/civil with each other. Most people trying to solo a SHTF scenario would just get picked off, myself included.

I had a 45-minute online meeting with a guy online through a platform called Lunchclub, which after two months of it I wouldn't recommend as it is like awkward professional speed dating. This guy was giving me the sort of cult creep red flag vibes honestly. The being "open and vulnerable" tactic, I believe to try to find weak spots in the armor he could hook into. Kept asking about personal stuff that is none of his business. On top of a general answer for everything, even things I was never asking for a solution to.

One question that got me bristled up, was "So how do you reach out to people and make friends?" I told him that I don't.

First of all, I have a temperament and personal hangups from what I like to call "life's unfortunate events" that drive a lot of people away. I can't blame them, I'm not exactly a ball of joy to be around, and after the things I have seen, I don't have the most optimistic perspective of people and the way they treat others. I work the best I can on myself so I am not a burden to others, however, there are some things you can't just weld back together on a person to make them fit for the general public. People like me the best, and I feel most comfortable, when I have a job to do, I get paid, and then we part ways. I have a wife and two dogs and after a lifetime of having to figure out how to live without much positive social interaction, I don't need much. I really prefer my interactions brief, with a purpose, clean and simple.

Not telling anyone here, something they probably don't already know or feel about themselves. So I am curious, so are any of you socially inclined, community-oriented? If so how do you choose who to invest time into, and has it been reliable/accurate?

I hear ya @SAR 1L

Most times I am the "life of the party" guy, and being in business for the better part of 35 years a certain amount of salesmanship is required regardless of my Title.

Having said that, after I make my living, I'm pretty happy not to have too many social interactions. I've got my good friends who we talk often but I can count on 2 hands the number of people (outside family) that we have hosted repeatedly at Slippy Lodge.

 

[Eyeball]

..So I am curious, so are any of you socially inclined, community-oriented? If so how do you choose who to invest time into, and has it been reliable/accurate?

I've always been a Lone Wolf and rarely socialise..
But in a post-Apoc SHTF world I'd certainly shack up with people who know about the things I don't, such as guns, vehicles, hunting, first-aid, women etc-

'Survivors 1975' clip-

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those be well-tried before you give them your confidence" -George Washington
"Associate yourself with men of good quality, for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company"- George Washington
"Bad company corrupts good character" (Bible:1 Corinthians 15:33)
"If you hang around with losers you become a loser"- Donald Trump
"He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm" (Bible: Proverbs 13:20)

 

[smokeyquartz]

@SAR-1L I feel like I am the female version of you! I don't really like people because of experiences, don't easily trust people, and have learned not to confide in others (even basic information about myself). People are really judgmental, and will use anything you say against you, however innocuous it is. So, I have no close friends. Lately I've been questioning it and thinking about how I can meet people who are similarly-minded as me. I became a member of my local rod and gun club. That is a good place to find pro-2nd Amendment people and strict constitutionalists. I haven't made any friends there yet (still waiting for my "key" card to come in the mail), but I knew I was in the right place the minute I went inside (no one was muzzled; it was a choice).

I can tell that you are an honest man because the guy's questions made you uncomfortable and you prefer short interactions. All honest people feel that they must tell the truth at all times, and it does lead to their downfall. I used to be this way, very gullible. Then I had a frenemy at work who was a great conniver/schemer and would ask me seemingly friendly questions just in order to see what I would say so that she could gossip about it. She was a great manipulator. I really learned a lot from my experiences with her. These are the low-bellied snake-people that you have to watch out for, and it seems like you found one. The only way to speak to them is to reflect back what they say to you but in a non-obvious way. "Oh really? That's interesting..." or turn the question on them - "Tell me, how do YOU make friends?" Don't give an opinion because they'll twist it when they gossip to others. A sure sign of a snake is someone who makes statements that you find yourself asking, "Was that a put-down or a compliment?" They are masters of this.

So, don't look for friendship at work. It will backfire. You're wise to simply stick to the duties at hand on your job, especially nowadays. Totally innocuous comments that you have made to someone at work could be reported to HR and get you in trouble. There are now posters all over workplaces about how to "report" someone for this or that behavior. I worked at a school that had a "bias reporting" (any opinion you have that someone else didn't like).

Rod & Gun Club is the only way right now, if you're looking for something better than a bar.

 

[Redneck]

OK, I see a trend here. Yep I am antisocial and honestly, have no close friends. Sure I have friends but no one close. Before the virus, I would mainly socialize at church but haven't been since March and won't go again until vaccinated. My wife spends 4 days/nights away each week caring for very elderly family members, so I'm alone most of the time when not at work. I'm at peace with myself and have plenty to do on the homestead, especially caring for 9 dogs, 2 cats & 4 horses. I rarely drink & never to excess, which is probably a good thing.

When younger, my wife was a social butterfly so we went out lots. Went out so much I had 2 tuxedos. But as she has aged, she has become more like me and prefers no one around and likes staying home. It is hard on her taking care of her mom & aunt and when really down, she asks me to remind her that one day hopefully we will have the time just to relax and enjoy a morning on the back porch, drinking hot tea & enjoying the view. Just the two of us.

 

[Prepared One]

I have found few people worth me investing my time in, and even fewer I would trust. I have acquaintances and associates but no true friends outside of my wife and the only trust I had was in her and my brother.

 

[Wedrownik]

Yes there's a theme so I'm for the most part not antisocial but rather I have no patience for incompetence and stupidity.... Good friend of mine lives about 20 mins away from me. We met at the academy years ago and even though our work paths have diverged a bit we keep in close touch and know we can count on each other.

With that said, I will not go looking for new "relationships". If something comes up and happens - so be it, but I will not be going out of my way to find it

Yes - one can't make it on their own, but getting the right person is not a matter of going out and looking for them.

 

[Piratesailor]

Interesting. Like Slippy, during my career, and I guess even now, I’m very outgoing. I was in consulting and a certain amount of sales at a global level. Entertainment, smoozing, socializing, etc. I was very good at it and liked it.

The reality is that I have, outsides of my wife, 4 close friends. Friends that would die for me and visa versa . Around that I have a good number of really good friends that I enjoy their company on occasion. Around that I have a large group of acquaintances that I like and keep in touch with every so often.

With that said, now that I’m retired, I have less and less tolerance of people, Especially people whom I find to be idiots. I like my close friends and that’s about it. Jeez.. typing this I realized I’ve become somewhat antisocial. LOL. Screw it....

 

[hawgrider]

I've got a 150,000 Facebook friends does that count?


Oh wait.... I don't have Facebook.

 

[Redneck]

I've got a 150,000 Facebook friends does that count?

Oh wait.... I don't have Facebook.

What's Facebook?

 

[Prepared One]

I've got a 150,000 Facebook friends does that count?

Oh wait.... I don't have Facebook.

Yeah, but you love little duckies, safe places, and rainbows. :tango_face_grin:

 

[hawgrider]

Yeah, but you love little duckies, safe places, and rainbows. :tango_face_grin:

And unicorns that fart.

 

[Prepared One]

And unicorns that fart.

I love ya Hawg. How the hell are ya?

 

[Weldman]

Isolated for me and the misses, years in war zones keep me isolated I like it when the wife goes instead. Only drive in town once every 2 weeks to 2 months for supplies on building and subsidies on food.
Figure lone survivor won't work either, but I know to wait a few months after or longer since the SHTF before looking for others, that way to let the weak die off and the idiots to shoot it out. Will be lots of rage to let out when system fails especially in the younger folks, let them wear themselves out and see who survives from that bunch.

 

[SAR-1L]

Isolated for me and the misses, years in war zones keep me isolated I like it when the wife goes instead. Only drive in town once every 2 weeks to 2 months for supplies on building and subsidies on food.
Figure lone survivor won't work either, but I know to wait a few months after or longer since the SHTF before looking for others, that way to let the weak die off and the idiots to shoot it out. Will be lots of rage to let out when system fails especially in the younger folks, let them wear themselves out and see who survives from that bunch.

The way the younger generation behaves these days is concerning. Just complete reckless/dangerous levels of bonkers for lack of better summary. Beyond just lack of concern for those around them, almost a Game of Thrones next level if you don't look like, talk like, smell like me and my friends, then you are the enemy type of mindset. So incredibly toxic and even warped level of lack of empathy or respect for the value of human life in general. Super dark shit.

 

[ND_ponyexpress_]

I am the opposite of many of you evidently, but due to where I live and working 6 days a week, I get little time for socializing (even less when kids' hockey season starts). I have several friends through past jobs and fantasy football, 3 hunting buddies come up every pheasant opener. I have told them if the fubar is flyin they can bring their families here. we have enough rooms.

My brother is the loner... no wife/girlfriend, no friends (other than mine) a true introvert when it comes to other people. the nerd with the money. but he and I are exactly alike odly enough. just that nobody but he and I and my wife know it due to his social awkwardness.