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Best Military witticisms

10800 Views 84 Replies 27 Participants Last post by  Jakthesoldier, 
Gunner's Mate
You can Run but you will only die tired
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Meangreen
"Artillerymen believe the world consist of two types of people; other Artillerymen and targets."

A Toast to the Guns
By them we live,
For them we would die.
Whatever the Mission,
We'll give it a try.

We'll serve them with Honor
For they are the ones;
That make us Artillerymen,
So here's to the Guns:
TO THE GUNS!!

"Where a goat can go, a man can go, where a man can go, he can drag a gun"

I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you **** with me, I'll kill you all.
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Meangreen
0861

Come on, you sons of bitches! Do you want to live forever?
GySgt. Daniel J. "Dan" Daly, USMC
near Lucy-`le-Bocage as he led the 5th Marines' attack into Belleau Wood, 6 June 1918
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Meangreen
"We're surrounded? Good, now we can kill the bastards in any direction." ~ Colonel Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller; Korean War

"They told (us) to open up the Embassy, or "we'll blow you away." And then they looked up and saw the Marines on the roof with the really big guns, and they said in Somali, "Igaralli ahow," Which mean "Excuse me, I didn't mean it, my mistake." ~ Karen Aquilar, in the U.S. Embassy; Mogadishu, Somalia

Artillery lends dignity to what might otherwise be a vulgar brawl
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Meangreen
"You can't describe the moral lift,
when in the fight your spirits weary
hears above the hostile fire,
Your own artillery.
Shells score the air like wavy hair
from a forward battery.
As regimental cannon crack
While from positions further back,
in bitter sweet song overhead
crashing discordantly
Division's pounding joins the attack;
Mother like she belches shell;
Glorious it flies, and well,
As, with a hissing screaming squall,
A roaring furnace, giving all,
she sears a path for the infantry...."
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Meangreen
"If you don't have enough artillery, quit."
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Meangreen
"Leave the Artillerymen alone, they are an obstinate lot. . ."
Napoleon Bonaparte
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Meangreen
rickkyw1720pf said:
Friendly fire -- isn't. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
Click to expand...
Tree bursts suck!
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Meangreen
Gunner's Mate said:
A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:

Talking Dog for Sale

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services ... The United States Marine Corps... You know one of their nicknames is "The Devil Dogs."

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out and I knew I wasn't getting any younger.

So, I decided to settle down. I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar! He never did any of that crap. He was in the Navy!"
Click to expand...
OOOOHHH MY GOSH!!!!! ::clapping::::clapping::::clapping::::clapping::::clapping::::clapping::

You know they don't salute in the navy anymore...they just wink ;)
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Meangreen
For the Tea Party Members

Bring on your tear gas, bring on your grenades, your new supplies of Mace, your state troopers and even your national guards. But let the record show we ain't going to be turned around.
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Meangreen
You, you, and you... panic. The rest of you, come with me."
- U.S. Marine Corps gunnery sgt.
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Meangreen
Friendly fire isn't.

Incoming artillery has the right of way

The fastest way to find your sergeant is to go to sleep
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Meangreen
"Retracting too early can make the prop curly"

Mountain? Hell, it was flat on the map!

Closely monitor thine airspeed, lest the ground rise up and smite thee.
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Meangreen
Drinking is the soldier's pleasure; Rich the treasure; Sweet the pleasure; Sweet is pleasure after pain.
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Meangreen
"Tracers work both ways"
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Meangreen
The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.
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Meangreen
American soldiers in battle don’t fight for what some president says on TV, they don’t fight for mom, apple pie, the American flag --- they fight for one another
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Meangreen
Gunner's Mate said:
Danger Close

"steelrain, steelrain, this is Hitman calling in fire mission, popeye uniform 059 098 038 degrees 200 metres, danger close"
Click to expand...
warning order, observer identification, target location, target description, method of engagement and method of fire⁄control.

Hitman confirm popeye uniform 059 098 038 degrees 200 meters danger close. Low angle fuze quick converged sheaf T, G, VT IN EFFECT, 6 ROUNDS. Fire for effect!
It's been over 20 years
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Meangreen
Shot out!
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Meangreen
Request a WP round, a smoke round, or a 200-meter airburst with HE on the next round. Unable to view impact.
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Meangreen
Make a bold shift. Danger close (within 600 meters) 20-meter HOB in fire for effect.
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