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You can Run but you will only die tired
Best Military witticisms
1 - 20 of 85 Posts
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"Artillerymen believe the world consist of two types of people; other Artillerymen and targets."
A Toast to the Guns
By them we live,
For them we would die.
Whatever the Mission,
We'll give it a try.
We'll serve them with Honor
For they are the ones;
That make us Artillerymen,
So here's to the Guns:
TO THE GUNS!!
"Where a goat can go, a man can go, where a man can go, he can drag a gun"
I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you **** with me, I'll kill you all.
A Toast to the Guns
By them we live,
For them we would die.
Whatever the Mission,
We'll give it a try.
We'll serve them with Honor
For they are the ones;
That make us Artillerymen,
So here's to the Guns:
TO THE GUNS!!
"Where a goat can go, a man can go, where a man can go, he can drag a gun"
I come in peace. I didn't bring artillery. But I'm pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you **** with me, I'll kill you all.
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MG Ft Sill Okla cannon Cocker ??
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1,463 Posts
"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
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"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - US Marine Corps
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"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - USAF Ammo Troop
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"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
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"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - US Air Force Manual
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General Macarthur
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"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal
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"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - US Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
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"Tracers work both ways." - US Army Ordnance
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"Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal
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Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - David Hackworth
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"If your attack is going too well, your walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal
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"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper... once." - Anonymous
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Marine Recruit
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"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies
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"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." - USAF Ammo Troop
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"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing." - At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
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"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky." --From an old carrier sailor
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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies."
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"Never trade luck for skill."
-------------------------------------------------The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh ****!"
-------------------------------------------------"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
-------------------------------------------------
"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant."
-------------------------------------------------
"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
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"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."
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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
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"Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day."
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Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible."
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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." - Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ,
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
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Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
-------------------------------------------------
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?". The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
-------------------------------------------------
"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend." - US Marine Corps
-------------------------------------------------
"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - USAF Ammo Troop
-------------------------------------------------
"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
-------------------------------------------------
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - US Air Force Manual
-------------------------------------------------
"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General Macarthur
-------------------------------------------------
"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal
-------------------------------------------------
"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - US Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
-------------------------------------------------
"Tracers work both ways." - US Army Ordnance
-------------------------------------------------
"Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal
-------------------------------------------------
Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - David Hackworth
-------------------------------------------------
"If your attack is going too well, your walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal
-------------------------------------------------
"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay
---------------------------------------------
"Any ship can be a minesweeper... once." - Anonymous
-------------------------------------------------
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Marine Recruit
-------------------------------------------------
"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies
-------------------------------------------------
"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." - USAF Ammo Troop
-------------------------------------------------
"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death ... I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing." - At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan
-------------------------------------------------
"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
-------------------------------------------------
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
-------------------------------------------------
"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky." --From an old carrier sailor
-------------------------------------------------
"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
-------------------------------------------------
"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
-------------------------------------------------
"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies."
-------------------------------------------------
"Never trade luck for skill."
-------------------------------------------------The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" and "Oh ****!"
-------------------------------------------------"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
-------------------------------------------------
"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant."
-------------------------------------------------
"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
-------------------------------------------------
"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."
-------------------------------------------------
"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
-------------------------------------------------
"Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day."
-------------------------------------------------
Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII: "When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and gently as possible."
-------------------------------------------------
"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
-------------------------------------------------
"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
-------------------------------------------------
"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." - Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ,
-------------------------------------------------
"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
-------------------------------------------------
Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
-------------------------------------------------
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?". The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
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"We're surrounded? Good, now we can kill the bastards in any direction." ~ Colonel Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller; Korean War
"They told (us) to open up the Embassy, or "we'll blow you away." And then they looked up and saw the Marines on the roof with the really big guns, and they said in Somali, "Igaralli ahow," Which mean "Excuse me, I didn't mean it, my mistake." ~ Karen Aquilar, in the U.S. Embassy; Mogadishu, Somalia
Artillery lends dignity to what might otherwise be a vulgar brawl
"They told (us) to open up the Embassy, or "we'll blow you away." And then they looked up and saw the Marines on the roof with the really big guns, and they said in Somali, "Igaralli ahow," Which mean "Excuse me, I didn't mean it, my mistake." ~ Karen Aquilar, in the U.S. Embassy; Mogadishu, Somalia
Artillery lends dignity to what might otherwise be a vulgar brawl
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The rules are drawn up by lawyers who are trying to protect the admirals and generals from the politicians; they’re not written by people who are worried about the guys on the ground getting shot.”
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"if you die first, we're splitting up your gear."
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"You can't describe the moral lift,
when in the fight your spirits weary
hears above the hostile fire,
Your own artillery.
Shells score the air like wavy hair
from a forward battery.
As regimental cannon crack
While from positions further back,
in bitter sweet song overhead
crashing discordantly
Division's pounding joins the attack;
Mother like she belches shell;
Glorious it flies, and well,
As, with a hissing screaming squall,
A roaring furnace, giving all,
she sears a path for the infantry...."
when in the fight your spirits weary
hears above the hostile fire,
Your own artillery.
Shells score the air like wavy hair
from a forward battery.
As regimental cannon crack
While from positions further back,
in bitter sweet song overhead
crashing discordantly
Division's pounding joins the attack;
Mother like she belches shell;
Glorious it flies, and well,
As, with a hissing screaming squall,
A roaring furnace, giving all,
she sears a path for the infantry...."
Joined
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1,595 Posts
Joined
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1,463 Posts
Fubar
Joined
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1,463 Posts
A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:
Talking Dog for Sale
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services ... The United States Marine Corps... You know one of their nicknames is "The Devil Dogs."
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out and I knew I wasn't getting any younger.
So, I decided to settle down. I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar! He never did any of that crap. He was in the Navy!"
Talking Dog for Sale
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services ... The United States Marine Corps... You know one of their nicknames is "The Devil Dogs."
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out and I knew I wasn't getting any younger.
So, I decided to settle down. I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar! He never did any of that crap. He was in the Navy!"
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fido!!
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Tree bursts suck!
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OOOOHHH MY GOSH!!!!! ::clapping::::clapping::::clapping::::clapping::::clapping::::clapping::
You know they don't salute in the navy anymore...they just wink
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