Been on my mind.

3391 Views 22 Replies 12 Participants Last post by BetrayedAmerican, Nov 7, 2013

BetrayedAmerican

Discussion Starter · Nov 5, 2013 (Edited)

This thread is to be deleted.

1 - 20 of 23 Posts

Denton

· #2 · Nov 5, 2013

It isn't easy coming home, brother. You walk away from a place where discipline is a must and mistake cost lives to a world where people have no idea of what you now see as reality. Anyone who says they made an easy, seamless transition is not being honest with themselves.

Do you think it might be better to get involved with the community, rather than burrow in and wait for the end? True, these people aren't going to understand much about you, but you really need to reconnect. I've been around a lot of "younguns" who have been, come back, gone again and come back. Those who reconnected are fairing the best.

I'll be praying for you.

Reactions: 4

ekim

· #3 · Nov 5, 2013

First off, THANK YOU for your service, second, very glad you made it home safely. Your problem is not uncommon I don't believe and the government and military needs to understand that they can NOT keep people under that kind of life / stress for that long and not have it affect you. From what I've hear the military are being keep in combat zones longer than they we're in other wars / conflicts and it is showing up now after they are brought back. If all possible stay away from the VA or the medical field if you can as that will come back and haunt you big time. If possible find fellow soldiers that have made the transition and let them help you, talking is good and so is productive work. IMO, it's a matter of retraining your mind to the real life of non combat statis that you need to overcome. I'm sure it's easier said than done, but IMO, you have earned that and we the people need to understand and give all vets the chance to truly come back home! ::clapping:: God speed to your quick recovery to American life again.

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BetrayedAmerican

Discussion Starter · #4 · Nov 5, 2013

I feel that that right there is the problem... The american way of life is disgusting. When a child can come home from school and play video games all day... Thats not right.. When a parent tries to disipline there kids and yet the children are taught in school that if mommy or daddy ever hit you to call the cops right away... WTF is that....

And politics... I wont get on that subject as I could go on and on and on and on....

The point is I am so radical in my desire to disappear on a chunk of land with minimal interaction with corporate american that I have shunned away all those would be friends.. Can anyone understand that.. My best bet is to come one here where you all can talk to me and give advise like friends would and yet I dont have to worry about the emotional loss of when someone tells you that your beliefs and ways of life are to radical and that they dont see a spot in their life for you...

I will try to find work as some say thats the best way for me to get my mind off things at the same time how do you find work when out of 20 applications you put in 3 companies tell you they dont hire fresh from war soldiers as the threat of mental breakdown and aggression happenes to much for them to risk and then others just dont call back at all... I will keep looking as that is my job until I have one but still kinda disheartening that I could go over seas and come back and feel outcast rather then welcomed...

Also thank you all very much for the words and encouragement it means a lot to me and I can feel this sense of pride and happiness again... it really means a lot... thanks.

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PrepConsultant

· #5 · Nov 5, 2013

BetrayedAmerican said:
I feel that that right there is the problem... The american way of life is disgusting. When a child can come home from school and play video games all day... Thats not right.. When a parent tries to disipline there kids and yet the children are taught in school that if mommy or daddy ever hit you to call the cops right away... WTF is that....

And politics... I wont get on that subject as I could go on and on and on and on....

The point is I am so radical in my desire to disappear on a chunk of land with minimal interaction with corporate american that I have shunned away all those would be friends.. Can anyone understand that.. My best bet is to come one here where you all can talk to me and give advise like friends would and yet I dont have to worry about the emotional loss of when someone tells you that your beliefs and ways of life are to radical and that they dont see a spot in their life for you...

I will try to find work as some say thats the best way for me to get my mind off things at the same time how do you find work when out of 20 applications you put in 3 companies tell you they dont hire fresh from war soldiers as the threat of mental breakdown and aggression happenes to much for them to risk and then others just dont call back at all... I will keep looking as that is my job until I have one but still kinda disheartening that I could go over seas and come back and feel outcast rather then welcomed...

Also thank you all very much for the words and encouragement it means a lot to me and I can feel this sense of pride and happiness again... it really means a lot... thanks.

I know what you mean! Looks like you and I think alike. I actually got tired of it and dropped everything and moved to the middle of nowhere here in Montana! What branch were you in? If you want to chat, feel free to send a PM..

Denton

· #6 · Nov 5, 2013

An idea...
I needed to clear my mind a couple decades ago, so I drove trucks for about four years. Best therapy I ever had and I got paid to do it.

ekim

· #7 · Nov 5, 2013

Denton said:
An idea...
I needed to clear my mind a couple decades ago, so I drove trucks for about four years. Best therapy I ever had and I got paid to do it.

What ever works for our Vets is fine with me. I've never served so I flying by the skin of my teeth here, but the shit most of them go through and the way so many are treated coming home really pisses me off. Are there some bad ones, no doubt, but that doesn't give anyone the right to treat them like some do. As for me, I blame the government for a lot of the problems our Vets have, hell we treat illegals better than a lot of the Vets. I'll stop my rant before I say something I shouldn't. God Bless all our Military Personal!!! Bring them Home safe NOW.

Reactions: 3

rice paddy daddy

· #8 · Nov 5, 2013

BetrayedAmerican said:
I feel that that right there is the problem... The american way of life is disgusting. When a child can come home from school and play video games all day... Thats not right.. When a parent tries to disipline there kids and yet the children are taught in school that if mommy or daddy ever hit you to call the cops right away... WTF is that....

And politics... I wont get on that subject as I could go on and on and on and on....

The point is I am so radical in my desire to disappear on a chunk of land with minimal interaction with corporate american that I have shunned away all those would be friends.. Can anyone understand that.. My best bet is to come one here where you all can talk to me and give advise like friends would and yet I dont have to worry about the emotional loss of when someone tells you that your beliefs and ways of life are to radical and that they dont see a spot in their life for you...

I will try to find work as some say thats the best way for me to get my mind off things at the same time how do you find work when out of 20 applications you put in 3 companies tell you they dont hire fresh from war soldiers as the threat of mental breakdown and aggression happenes to much for them to risk and then others just dont call back at all... I will keep looking as that is my job until I have one but still kinda disheartening that I could go over seas and come back and feel outcast rather then welcomed...

Also thank you all very much for the words and encouragement it means a lot to me and I can feel this sense of pride and happiness again... it really means a lot... thanks.

My friend, I know exactly what you are feeling now, and what you will be feeling in the future. I was at that very place September 29, 1970.
The best way to ease back into society is to connect with combat veterans your own age, who went through what you did. The absolute worst thing you can do is crawl inside a bottle. I know, I did that too, and it only makes things worse.
You could try your local VFW and American Legion and see if there are recent vets there. But avoid the bar, promise?

The VA has a program that is independant of "the system" called The Vet Center. It was set up for us Vietnam vets who did not trust the VA and has since expanded to help ALL combat veterans with re-adjustment counseling. Click here: Vet Center Home This is NOT the part of the VA that is staffed with civilian white coats who will diagnose you with PTSD and drug you up like a lab rat. The Vet Center is staffed by real live veterans, many with combat experience themselves. These guys and this program literally saved my life - everything I am today is directly tied to them.
You should look at the site and see if there is a facility near you. I can not emphasize enough how much they can help you.

Look - I've been to that Dark Place you are in right now. If I can help my Brothers, it helps me as well.

PM me if you wish, if I can help I would consider it an honor.

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BetrayedAmerican

Discussion Starter · #9 · Nov 5, 2013

Thank you for the recognition and post. As for the rant I am hard core in my beliefs and if people don't like what is written on my thread then sorry but they don't need to read it. As for the illegals go, when the country people allowed a monkey in a suit to run the office that's the first problem. There is no racism intended as they are all monkeys in suits some just act a little more human than others...

The point I want to get out there and wonder how in the world it is allowed is exactly what you said.. How is it that someone can come across the border pop out a kid and because of that they are automatically citizens of the united states with full rides through life.. College Healthcare an what not.. another thing.. I know people like helping others but whats the deal with the starving kids in african and indochina and what not... What about the thousands of homeless children in our country... Well the United States I should say as this is not our country anymore.

There is a march on washington as we speak though the numbers are not near high enough to do anything... Here is how I believe one group would have to act to take back the country... It will take a large group of people in perfect military tactical precision to pull it off but in a single night every single federal public official will be confined to their homes and told they no longer have a job... Then the PEOPLE of the united states will vote in there own and see what happens from there...

The deal is there will be crooks and those seeking personal agenda but once the government returns to the people it will no longer be a career position... if an official sucks you only have to deal with them or a couple years then they are gone no long term personal screw ups like obama has implemented... and no disrespect to women but if Hillary gets in, it will be just as bad if not worse.

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Prepadoodle

· #10 · Nov 5, 2013

Time will heal some of it, but nothing will take it all away. I agree with RPD, hanging out with other vets will give you someone to talk to... someone who understands. Civilians can't relate, I wouldn't bother talking to them for now. Talk it out, yell it out, cry it out, whatever it takes.

You ARE strong enough to get past the worst of it. You know that, don't forget it and don't doubt it for a second. One hour at a time, one day, one week... one boot in front of the other brother, just keep on keeping on.

You aren't forgotten. My prayers are with you.

Reactions: 3

Rigged for Quiet

· #11 · Nov 5, 2013

Yep, a sound, a smell, a crowd, hell even a box on the side of the road, and suddenly it feels like you're falling and falling but the ground never comes.

Some suggestions;

Try and not live in a two story house. It gets old clearing the 2nd floor.

If you hear something in the night, it's ok to "check the perimeter".

Battle Buddies, find one. Seriously. Find the friend who doesn't ask many questions but doesn't run for the door if and when you speak about things. Most important, there is a tendancy to shut down and keep everything inside, especially with those closest. Sometimes it's because we don't think they will understand, which may be true. Other times it's because we don't want to bring our war home to the one's we love. Don't be too quick to condem those who don't understand. Do you really want them to be able to?

RPD's link to the Vet Center is great advice, as is networking with other Vets around your age.

I too will take a PM anytime if you need to vent or if I can help anyway I can.

Welcome home, Brother.

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PrepConsultant

· #12 · Nov 5, 2013

BetrayedAmerican said:
Thank you for the recognition and post. As for the rant I am hard core in my beliefs and if people don't like what is written on my thread then sorry but they don't need to read it. As for the illegals go, when the country people allowed a monkey in a suit to run the office that's the first problem. There is no racism intended as they are all monkeys in suits some just act a little more human than others...

The point I want to get out there and wonder how in the world it is allowed is exactly what you said.. How is it that someone can come across the border pop out a kid and because of that they are automatically citizens of the united states with full rides through life.. College Healthcare an what not.. another thing.. I know people like helping others but whats the deal with the starving kids in african and indochina and what not... What about the thousands of homeless children in our country... Well the United States I should say as this is not our country anymore.

There is a march on washington as we speak though the numbers are not near high enough to do anything... Here is how I believe one group would have to act to take back the country... It will take a large group of people in perfect military tactical precision to pull it off but in a single night every single federal public official will be confined to their homes and told they no longer have a job... Then the PEOPLE of the united states will vote in there own and see what happens from there...

The deal is there will be crooks and those seeking personal agenda but once the government returns to the people it will no longer be a career position... if an official sucks you only have to deal with them or a couple years then they are gone no long term personal screw ups like obama has implemented... and no disrespect to women but if Hillary gets in, it will be just as bad if not worse.

Again we agree!! I couldn't give 2 shits about the starving children in Africa and Indochina. We need to stop sendin them money for food and start sending them ****in birth control! Listen, if you can't afford to feed your troll, why in the hell should we??

Reactions: 2

Ordnanceman

· #13 · Nov 5, 2013

Welcome home. I know exactly what you mean.I packed it ALL away when my gig was up.I didnt peep a word , tried to forget.Now I cant walk in a crowd without thinking of a rear attack, I hate parades because they feel like troop movement through the sandbox and I am ridiculed by my family for being too protective.Try to talk to likeminded people with exeperience , its helps ...but it never leaves ... for me anyway.Digging in might be a step back in this case.Good luck, let me know if I can help.

Reactions: 1

BetrayedAmerican

Discussion Starter · #14 · Nov 5, 2013

Again thank you all for the support and the kind words.. I find myself among friends....

As for finding people my age.. I like the people here.. I have always liked to surround myself with the elders of my family and my friends families as they have stories that could attract you and keep you in while stories of the youth you have to wonder how much of it is full of bs and or how much of it is truth...

Again thank you all, you have no idea how much it means to me that you all are showing the care and consideration to send messages of support my way...

Take care and god bless you all.

Reactions: 5

ekim

· #15 · Nov 5, 2013

And here ladies and gentleman you have Americans trying to help Americans. It doesn't get any better. Thank you to all our military, but please don't block out those who are not military from helping either. You did your part, let those of us who want to help do so. United we all can make it.

Reactions: 4

pharmer14

· #16 · Nov 6, 2013

BetrayedAmerican said:
I will try to find work as some say thats the best way for me to get my mind off things at the same time how do you find work when out of 20 applications you put in 3 companies tell you they dont hire fresh from war soldiers as the threat of mental breakdown and aggression happenes to much for them to risk and then others just dont call back at all... I will keep looking as that is my job until I have one but still kinda disheartening that I could go over seas and come back and feel outcast rather then welcomed...

Seems to me that you could get pretty passionate about this and become "the boss" instead of the worker... Have you ever considered starting a business???

I echo others and thank you for your service... Those who served deserve nothing but deep gratitude and eternal respect.

9UC

· #17 · Nov 6, 2013

rice paddy daddy said:
My friend, I know exactly what you are feeling now, and what you will be feeling in the future. I was at that very place September 29, 1970.
The best way to ease back into society is to connect with combat veterans your own age, who went through what you did. The absolute worst thing you can do is crawl inside a bottle. I know, I did that too, and it only makes things worse. You could try your local VFW and American Legion and see if there are recent vets there. But avoid the bar, promise?

The VA has a program that is independant of "the system" called The Vet Center. It was set up for us Vietnam vets who did not trust the VA and has since expanded to help ALL combat veterans with re-adjustment counseling. Click here: Vet Center Home This is NOT the part of the VA that is staffed with civilian white coats who will diagnose you with PTSD and drug you up like a lab rat. The Vet Center is staffed by real live veterans, many with combat experience themselves. These guys and this program literally saved my life - everything I am today is directly tied to them.
You should look at the site and see if there is a facility near you. I can not emphasize enough how much they can help you.

Look - I've been to that Dark Place you are in right now. If I can help my Brothers, it helps me as well. PM me if you wish, if I can help I would consider it an honor.

I've been in the same Dark Place as RPD, been there, done that in Jan '68 and nearly let it destroy me. AS RPD stated, if I can help, PM me as well.

Reactions: 1

indie

· #18 · Nov 6, 2013

You guys are all awesome. <3

rice paddy daddy

· #19 · Nov 6, 2013

From a speech by Major General Robert Scales USA (Ret), given at the Truman Library 12 September 2009

"In war, young soldiers think about their buddies. They talk about families, wives and girlfriends and relate to each other through very personal confessions. For the most part the military we served with in Vietnam did not come from the social elite. We were in large measure volunteers and draftees from middle and lower class America. Just as in Iraq today, we came from every corner of our country to meet in a beautiful yet harsh and forbidding place, a place that we have seen and experienced but can never explain adequately to those who were never there.

Soldiers suffer, fight and occasionally die for each other. It's as simple as that. What brought us to fight in the jungle is no different than the motive force that compels young soldiers today to kick open a door in Ramadi with the expectation that what lies on the other side is either an innocent huddling with a child or a fanatic insurgent yearning to buy his ticket to eternity by killing the infidel. No difference. Patriotism and a paycheck may get a soldier into the military but fear of letting his buddies down gets a soldier to do something that might just as well get him killed.

What makes a person succesful in America today is a far cry from what would have made him a success in the minds of those assembled here today. Big bucks gained in law or real estate, or big deals closed on the stock market made some of our countrymen rich. But as they have grown older they now realize they have no buddies. There is no one who they are willing to die for or who is willing to die for them."

Betrayed American, you may feel betrayed by your country and some of it's people, but there are those who share your journey who would never betray you.

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ekim

· #20 · Nov 6, 2013

I will say this and you believe what you will, I don't want to stand behind any of our military, I want to stand next to them, shoulder to shoulder or if necessary in front as the case may be. I will not ask any American to do something I'm not willing to do myself.

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