El Paso, Texas | A man who was arrested by the FBI Yesterday has confessed to kidnapping and sexually assaulting several dozen people while using costumes, drugs, and special effects to have his victims believe they had been abducted by aliens.
Yes, I did punch that guy in the face. He was smoking in my woods and throwing the butts on the ground. He could've burned the whole forest! As far as sexually assaulting the guy, he wishes. Sorry but this Squatch dont roll that way. I'm a smoove beast who loves the ladies.
In order to confuse his victims even more, he had set up the inside of his truck to look like an operating room and would wear an alien costume.
FBI spokesman Darrell Johnson described the abuse that the accused afflicted to his victim as extremely disturbing.
"He would insert fingers and objects in their various body cavities. He had even created his own sex toys designed to look like alien tools and medical instruments."
According to Mr. Johnson, most of the victims were loners and marginals, a fact that helped Mr. White evade arrest for so long.
"He chose victims who were gullible and might fall for his traps. Several of his victims were actually ufo investigators he found hanging out around Area 51 or Roswell."
Sounds like some of the victims got exactly what they were looking for. If you're stupid enough to look around for space aliens, you should expect to get something stuck up your ass.
Man last time I had an op the anaesthetist offered me gas or a smack with a boat paddle. He said it was an Ether/oar situation.
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