Sigh, It's Over!
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Sigh, It's Over!

This is a discussion on Sigh, It's Over! within the General Talk forums, part of the General Discussion category; It's been over 2 months since hubby came home for the job that never was. Well, it finally is. When we started this newest adventure, ...

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Thread: Sigh, It's Over!

  1. #1
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    Sigh, It's Over!

    It's been over 2 months since hubby came home for the job that never was. Well, it finally is. When we started this newest adventure, we had a little cash reserve and a decent amount of food. We had my income, which covered about half our bills. The thing we spent the most on was still food, so in hindsight, I would like to have more stored up. We have a lot of dry goods but I think keeping a bigger supply of fresh food would have been excellent.

    This was, for us, a SHTF event, but you know the hardest part? The part we all tend to not think about, I imagine: adjusting to constantly being together and merging different opinions on how things are done. I REALLY struggled for the first 5 weeks or so. So think about that - how will you get along, and how can you create ways for people to get space and time outs when all that cohabiting gets so stressful?

    On a super good note, out of the blue, I received a $5k inheritance. Guess what I'm buying?

  2. #2
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    Shoes? j/k

    Well I am glad your Hubby got the job.

    And it is quite true, I think if I had to be around my wife 24/7 she would shoot me or I her. That is why she likes it when I deploy......
    indie likes this.
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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by indie View Post
    On a super good note, out of the blue, I received a $5k inheritance. Guess what I'm buying?
    A new hubby?

    My wife and I have been where you've been several times in our life. We realize just how hard it actually is to grow one's way into sustainability. Doesn't just happen, and doesn't happen at all for most folks who have neither land, nor strength, nor know how, nor resources to pour into the land if they have it. Love how all the books just say, "till an acre into parcels and get a cow... put up electric fence to keep her in the proper pasture..." Right... That $1500 will just materialize, I'm sure!

    Turns out that we ended up more "gatherers" than actual farmers early on and we gleaned from a lot of sources that would disapear if the excrement truly hit the rotary air-moving device, like dumpsters behind stores, etc. Over time, we've learned and now supply about 50% of our food needs from our own small holding (a rental at that). We grow intensively and major on canning. We also typically raise our own meat animals from young stock, but currently cannot, which means buying from other local producers.

    About "getting along" that should be simple, but for most people it is not. No way to know why that is, except (in my mind) a lot of folks wait FAR too long to become married and then have "merge" two independent minds and households together instead of "growing into" one household from a rather young age. My wife and I have essentially never had those sort of "mine" arguments because everything is "ours" together, including the work load, the finances, and the pleaures of marriage! To illustrate the age issue, I started dating my wife to be when she was 14, and I gave her an engagement ring at age 16. We married the fall after her high school graduation when she was 18. I am a year and a half older, so I was 20 at the time. We've now been together over 40 years, married for just about 37 of those years and we're still like kids on prom night! We just got done tilling and planting our garden and flowers for the yard together. We celebrated by... well, that is our business.

    For the life of me, I cannot imagine a marriage that doesn't strive to pull together instead of apart, but I see it constantly, especially as a pastor who does a lot of marriage and family counseling. The counter-productive outright selfishness I most often see is curable, but most couples never think that it will actually work -- until they at least try it and give their partner the benefit of the doubt for SOME TIME (longer than weeks). Most simply refuse to do so, and attribute to their spouse something other than their own best interests in his or her mind and that is the death of any marriage.
    charito, indie, inceptor and 2 others like this.
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  5. #4
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    Happy to hear things are turning around for you.
    I really want one of these!Hidden Content

  6. #5
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    Good to hear things are looking up.
    5k worth of bacon?
    indie likes this.
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  7. #6
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    Some good news! Thank God!

    Keep positive!
    dutch16 likes this.

  8. #7
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    Glad to hear things are getting better. As for spending too much time with your other half. I know what you mean. My fiance and I are several hours from town so we work the ranch together and our online stuff. So we spend a TON of time together. Sometimes you just need a little space. She will go hiking and doing her photography and I will do my thing just to have alittle space. Being this far from town, we don't go that often but seems like almost every time we go, we are always together. So we will spit up so we can do our own things and then we will get back together to do our shopping.
    Michael_Js likes this.
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  9. #8
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    Indie, that is wonderful news! The inheritance on top of the job; you must have felt a bit like Job at the end of his trials.
    dutch16, Michael_Js and indie like this.
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  10. #9
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    Having been the male side of a homecoming twice, I understand the challenges....and they are large. I did two unaccompanied tours, was gone a year each time, coming home was sweet but hard. My wife had been the head of the house for a year, she had been making ALL the decisions, managing finances....EVERYTHING. My reentry into the family took sometime, I imagine when you add job and income situations into that equation the stress level pretty much maxed out. The fact that you've managed to survive this long and now his job situation has been resolved should relieve a good bit of the tension and drama.

    Keep your head up, things'll get better.
    Michael_Js and indie like this.
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  11. #10
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    Very glad to hear that things are getting better. You kept your head up, and kept pushing forward. It's paying off. Now, take that $5000 and get a pistol, a CCW, and $4000 worth of stored food!
    indie and dwight55 like this.
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