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Crazy Stories

This is a discussion on Crazy Stories within the General Talk forums, part of the General Discussion category; Let's here some crazy/stupid stuff we have done over the years... I got a hypothetical story here. It is just fiction I promise if there ...

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  1. #1
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    Crazy Stories

    Let's here some crazy/stupid stuff we have done over the years...

    I got a hypothetical story here. It is just fiction I promise if there are any game officials on here..
    My dad used to own auto shops and towing companies in the South Florida area. He always had some crazy customers.. There was one he had form New York or New Joyseyy or somewhere in that neck of the woods. He wanted to go gator huntin'. I stopped by and he was there and my dad talked me into takin him. About that time, my brother stopped by. I asked him if he wanted to go to but he said naww, he was going to the gym. So it was just the yankee(we call him ardvark) and myself.

    We hop in the truck and head out to Lox rd. It was the everglades area where tourists would go and feed the gators marshmallows and other stuff and they would come right up to you. So we get out there and I do my sweep with the headlights to make sure there were no game wardens and I drive right down to the water. I tell ardvark to wait in the truck till I say so and then turn on the headlights. I go down by the water and start yelpin and tossin small rocks in to start bringin them in. It was only about 2 feet or so deep. I started seeing the gators headed my way and were about 6 feet from shore.

    I tell him to hit the lights and right as I am about to pull the trigger, there is a voice that says FREEZE, DON'T MOVE!!.. I toss the 22 hornet(best poachin gun in the world from what I have heard) Next thing you know, ardvark says shhh, we are tryin to shoot a gator.. I am like he did not just f$#@$# say that!! Then the voice said, on your face ****head.. I caught it then.. It was my brother scarin the hell out of us.. So after a little laugh and emptying my pants, he said "let's get a gator!!

    Next thing ya know, we are callin them up again and as one of them ws opening his mouth to hiss.. BANG right on top of the head.. He rolled for a minute or so and we hopped in to get him. We tossed him in the back of my truck and headed for my dads shop to skin him.. As we are leavin the road we are on I look up the street and there is a cop about to pull out. He waits for me to pass and just as he is about to pull behind me. My brother acts like he is drunk and swerves off the road. So the cop decided to get behind him. Now he is driving nice and straight. We get to about a mile from the shop and we are at a light. I am in the left turn lane, the cop is to my right and my brother is to his right. I look over at my brother and his eyes were looking at me and as big as bowling balls.
    Next thing I know the truck shakes. i look in the rearview mirror and the gator is chewing on the bedliner part of the tailgate. Now my brother starts revvin his engine so the cop would look at him. About that time, the light turned green and I was gone. I still wonder what that cop was thinkin that night..

    Now, we get to the shop and open the door and turn the alarm off and drive on in and shut it behind us. Now we have a 9ft 9in gator that is ****ed in the back of the truck. We open the tailgate and he comes slidin out. We are trying to figure out how to kill him without shooting him. So I am in front of him gettin his attention and he is hissin and smackin his tail all over. Next thing you know, ardvark says turn him over and rub his belly.. I SWEAR TO GOD!! (If this was a true story).. Anyway, I get his attention and my brother straddles him and smacks him in the head with a hammer. Killed him the first wack of a balpene hammer. We skinned him and got the meat and dumped the rest.. I never took ardvark hunting after that!!!
    Inor and Rigged for Quiet like this.
    Check out my blog Hidden Content Also SurvivingTheBreaks on Facebook.. My radio show will be goin live next week on Hidden Content so be sure to listen out.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrepConsultant View Post
    Let's here some crazy/stupid stuff we have done over the years...

    I got a hypothetical story here. It is just fiction I promise if there are any game officials on here..
    My dad used to own auto shops and towing companies in the South Florida area. He always had some crazy customers.. There was one he had form New York or New Joyseyy or somewhere in that neck of the woods. He wanted to go gator huntin'. I stopped by and he was there and my dad talked me into takin him. About that time, my brother stopped by. I asked him if he wanted to go to but he said naww, he was going to the gym. So it was just the yankee(we call him ardvark) and myself.

    We hop in the truck and head out to Lox rd. It was the everglades area where tourists would go and feed the gators marshmallows and other stuff and they would come right up to you. So we get out there and I do my sweep with the headlights to make sure there were no game wardens and I drive right down to the water. I tell ardvark to wait in the truck till I say so and then turn on the headlights. I go down by the water and start yelpin and tossin small rocks in to start bringin them in. It was only about 2 feet or so deep. I started seeing the gators headed my way and were about 6 feet from shore.

    I tell him to hit the lights and right as I am about to pull the trigger, there is a voice that says FREEZE, DON'T MOVE!!.. I toss the 22 hornet(best poachin gun in the world from what I have heard) Next thing you know, ardvark says shhh, we are tryin to shoot a gator.. I am like he did not just f$#@$# say that!! Then the voice said, on your face ****head.. I caught it then.. It was my brother scarin the hell out of us.. So after a little laugh and emptying my pants, he said "let's get a gator!!

    Next thing ya know, we are callin them up again and as one of them ws opening his mouth to hiss.. BANG right on top of the head.. He rolled for a minute or so and we hopped in to get him. We tossed him in the back of my truck and headed for my dads shop to skin him.. As we are leavin the road we are on I look up the street and there is a cop about to pull out. He waits for me to pass and just as he is about to pull behind me. My brother acts like he is drunk and swerves off the road. So the cop decided to get behind him. Now he is driving nice and straight. We get to about a mile from the shop and we are at a light. I am in the left turn lane, the cop is to my right and my brother is to his right. I look over at my brother and his eyes were looking at me and as big as bowling balls.
    Next thing I know the truck shakes. i look in the rearview mirror and the gator is chewing on the bedliner part of the tailgate. Now my brother starts revvin his engine so the cop would look at him. About that time, the light turned green and I was gone. I still wonder what that cop was thinkin that night..

    Now, we get to the shop and open the door and turn the alarm off and drive on in and shut it behind us. Now we have a 9ft 9in gator that is ****ed in the back of the truck. We open the tailgate and he comes slidin out. We are trying to figure out how to kill him without shooting him. So I am in front of him gettin his attention and he is hissin and smackin his tail all over. Next thing you know, ardvark says turn him over and rub his belly.. I SWEAR TO GOD!! (If this was a true story).. Anyway, I get his attention and my brother straddles him and smacks him in the head with a hammer. Killed him the first wack of a balpene hammer. We skinned him and got the meat and dumped the rest.. I never took ardvark hunting after that!!!
    THAT is one of the best stories I have ever heard! Thanks!

  3. #3
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    I heard that goats don't answer challenges from night sentries very well. I've also heard they utterly fail the Colt Commando Full Magazine Stress Test.

    Or so I've heard.........

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  5. #4
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    The only good "poaching story" I have:

    When I was 13 or 14 years old a few of my buddies and I decided to go on a camping trip with our bikes. Since we did not want to have to rely on only the fish we caught to survive, we decided to bring a small amount of food with us. The University of Minnesota had a game park about 5 or 7 miles from our homes which they had clear cut and planted corn to raise pheasants. I am not sure why they planted it as they never allowed hunting, but whatever...

    Since it was late May or early June, we knew there was no way we could ride our bikes through town with shotguns on our backs, so we decided the best way to proceed was to drug the pheasants. We got a box of raisins and one of my pals lifted a half dozen of his mom's prescription sleeping pills (which happened to be capsules). We slit open the raisins with a razor blade and dumped a small bit of the powder from the sleeping pills into them. Then we took black thread and sewed them up so the powder would not leak out.

    The next day we went to the game park. We expected to collect 5 or 6 pheasants. Apparently, pheasants REALLY like raisins! After about 20 minutes, we noticed there were FAR more drugged out pheasants than we needed so we decided to only take the roosters. By the time we were done, we had over 30 roosters. We just picked them up and put them in our knapsacks since they were all fast asleep.

    About half way through the ride home, the drug started to wear off and we discovered that having 5 or 6 male pheasants confined in a small knapsack does not make them happy. They started pecking the crap out of us. By the time we got back to my buddy Scott's house to kill and clean the birds we all had several large puncture wounds on our backs and more importantly blood everywhere down the backs of our shirts.

    When I got home, my folks were mortified by the blood. My mom asked me what happened and I gave some excuse about falling off my bike. As my mom was cleaning and bandaging my wounds, I noticed my dad's expression was getting darker and darker. He never said anything though.

    About 10 years later I invited the old man out to lunch to tell him of my intentions to ask Mrs Inor to marry me. He accepted the Mrs Inor part without a blink, but at some point in the meal he looked at me with that look saying "don't bullshit me boy or I will rip out your kidneys" and asked about "the time I came home with all those round holes in my back". I told him the whole story. He leaned back and laughed uproariously and told me about the time he had done the *exact* same thing at about the same age (with the same excuse) and then asked: "How Goddamn stupid are you not to wring their necks before you put them in your bag?"
    Rigged for Quiet likes this.

  6. #5
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    Awesome Inor, absolutely awesome.

  7. #6
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    Humm....quite funny. I could tell several myself, but afraid it'll come back to bite me...LOL
    Tundra Dweller likes this.

  8. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kidzthinkimahoarder View Post
    Humm....quite funny. I could tell several myself, but afraid it'll come back to bite me...LOL

    Mine happened several years ago so I'm not worried too much.. It is just made up anyway..lol
    Check out my blog Hidden Content Also SurvivingTheBreaks on Facebook.. My radio show will be goin live next week on Hidden Content so be sure to listen out.

  9. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrepConsultant View Post
    Mine happened several years ago so I'm not worried too much.. It is just made up anyway..lol
    The statute of limitations has long since expired. Besides, one of the guys that was with us that day went on to work for the Minnesota DNR. :grin:

  10. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrepConsultant View Post
    Mine happened several years ago so I'm not worried too much.. It is just made up anyway..lol
    I'll still have to plea the 5th...LOL

  11. #10
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    It's not something I was involved with, but I'm remembering a story that happened in Pennsylvania (where I was born n raised) maybe 15 years ago...

    Two hunters out in the woods during deer season when a commercial jet flies overhead. The plane had just taken off from a local airport, so wasn't yet at cruising altitude. The one guy bets his buddy he can't hit the thing, so the other guy takes a shot. Nothing much happened, so they go on about their business.

    When they get home that night, it's all over the news, "Passenger injured by stray bullet." Seems the guy managed to hit the jet, the bullet making its way through the luggage compartment and coming to rest in the leg of some unsuspecting passenger.

    Here's the crazy part: a few days later, the guy turned himself in! OK, shooting at the plane in the first place was reckless, irresponsible, and stupid as hell, but turning yourself in? Done is done man. Nobody died. Turning yourself in doesn't accomplish a whole lot, you know?


    Success Is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm - anonymous

 

 
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