Welcome to the 21st century. I got a felony under different but no less absurd circumstances. It is a piece of the disarming of America agenda.
We have a local term here thats used. The DA will throw a ton of shit at you hoping something will stick.
Best advice take it all the way to the jury. Your punishment will be worse if found guilty but as I look back the worst mistake I made was I bent under the threats of the DA and took a deal that I shouldnt have.