I think you need a new girlfriend. Just jump in, start a conversation. Tell her she's cute. Don't get friend zoned.
This is a discussion on Its just love, nobody gets out alive. within the General Talk forums, part of the General Discussion category; Originally Posted by Hemi45 I didn't read your post but I did notice how long it is. My thought is that if you're taking the ...
It might take time, thats the other part of the problem... First half of my life was gone in the blink of an eye. I feel if the second half does the same... I dont want to be the guy that gets old and dies alone.
Omg slippy... you're going to what my what now ? o_O
You're most likely gonna get a lot of posts telling you to "buck up, be a man, get over it, and so on. The truth of it is that as men we usually are not allowed to voice our hurt and pain out there like you're doing here.
It's entirely up to you to go on functioning on "auto-pilot" as you said, but really what good does that do for you?
You keep looking back at what was, and what might of been, instead of looking forward to what is, and what you want the rest of your life to look like.
Every sad song that comes on that radio, everything that you still have that was hers, any thoughts that take you back to her, you need to get rid of. That does not mean you got to be a bastard about it either. It's just time to walk away and start something new.
Find the things that make you happy - the hobbies, the shit you did before her, and the shit you will do after her that made you the man you are.
Throw yourself into life, cause going through it on auto pilot leaves no time for sight seeing, and by god man, you will miss a lot of the sights this world has to offer.
Get out there and get yourself some!
Take it day by day, but I know (as do the rest of the men here) that you will get past this, we all can if we try.
Don't waste 4 years of your life moping around like I did. I'll never get those years back!
I eventually met a wonderful woman and we have been married now 34 years!
If I manned up anymore I would probably be dead. I vent because keeping it all inside is quite literally breaking my mind.
In person you couldnt tell theres a thing wrong with me. I come across as calm and functional but inside... Things are a little off :p
All in all based on the advice I generally get it seems like im on the right track. Just wish that track was a little more pro active. My world is crumbling around me... Financially, mentally, emotionally. As I kind of wait for the storm to pass like a deer in the headlights.
My only goal is to make it through each day without making it worse but I cant seem to help myself. I sort of know why... Its like if you have someone in your life that you can honsetly say "I would rather die than lose this person" (yes I know thats irrational) but anyway you lose any meaning or will to keep going. I dont want to lose over this but I dont have any will left to climb back up. So im treading water for now... hoping ill see land before I sink... Or something eats me
I still put one foot in front of the other and try a little each day. Ive been told a few times I must find what makes me happy or create my own happyness. But I dont process happyness in a normal way. (Medically speaking lol)
I dont really feel it, happy things also make me sad, im detached from the world almost completely. Before I met her my world was a void. She became my only point of light. She is much like me in that way, thats why we got along so well together. The only thing real to me was her and vise versa. Im trying to find happyness lol... I kind of asked one friend what happyness is exactly. He thought I was making fun of him and got mad at me :p I can see beauty in everything... And that somehow translates to sadness. Its a work in progress...
Anyway its all good.
So long as im still making that progress I suppose.
I agree... I have plans but it is going so slow.
If you dont mind me asking how old were you when you met ?
Thing is... Im really completely inept at "getting out there and meeting" im giving it 110% and it equals nada.
Absolute zero when it comes to people skills.
My best attempt is something like this "walks up to random stranger, hi... Awkward silence. They look at me like hmmm whats this about? Then I go home and drink till I pass out"
Love sucks my friend. There is no way around it!!
Just know that there is a person out there that will love you as much as you love them....don't settle!!! You deserve the best!!
Write her a letter telling her everything you said here. Use snail mail not email. Give it a few weeks, if you get nothing then it is over. We all had our first loves and our heart broken. You just waited a bit longer to do it. I personally feel you need to get more comfortable with yourself. Don't go looking for love, it has a way of finding you. Take a class about something that you are interested in.
Hidden ContentRemain calm, All is well
I was young! My high school sweetheart and first GF and I were together for 3 years and out of the blue dumped me hard! I really did mope around for 4 years just lost! I went out on a few dates but was
quiet and awkward meeting anyone then out of the blue I went out on a blind date at age 20 just shy of 21. We have been married 34 years and together 38 now! It can be done just gotta keep chin up
and see what happens!
First I do have to get ahold of her. She was telling me before that some people were harrassing her and she bought a gun to protect herself. This was last year... Eventually she had to move. She stoped talking before I could get her new address. All of her stuff including her car, tv and computer are all still at my place. So I need to find out what she wants me to do with it all.