A Funny military security story
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A Funny military security story

This is a discussion on A Funny military security story within the General Talk forums, part of the General Discussion category; For a couple of years while in the Marines i did Physical security and Crime Prevention on Okinawa (Did my Physical Security school at Fort ...

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Thread: A Funny military security story

  1. #1
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    A Funny military security story

    For a couple of years while in the Marines i did Physical security and Crime Prevention on Okinawa (Did my Physical Security school at Fort McClelland Al)

    When ever I inspected an Armory/weapons security area I always pulled the Military Police Vehicle up by the guard post and parked next to the fence. The Guard(s) never (hardly) told me to move.. until one day

    I pulled up, parked within 20 feet of a no parking sign, got out and walked up to the guard (an E-3 L/Cpl) and asked to go in. He said "You have to move your vehicle away from the fence."

    I (an E-5) told him No worries, I am an MP and I will only be a few minutes... unimpressed, he told me he was not letting me in until I moved the vehicle.. Again I brushed him off acted all friendly and like it was no big deal to park

    Not having ANY it he said... the vehicle blocks my line of sight and it is so close to the fence a person could use it to jump over! Move it now or I am calling the security team.

    I moved the Vehicle to the parking lot, went back and told him to get his Officer of the day....

    a short time later his OD showed up (a Captain) with the Duty SNCO .. I explained that in 2 years his guard was the only one who had correctly refused to allow me to illegal park in a no parking zone and refused to allow me entrance until I corrected the issue and it would be noted in the report
    Be a Berean

  2. #2
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    Ready for another one????

    Aboard ship in port, . . . "R" division had what was called the sounding and security patrol.

    We checked pipes which went down into lower spaces to make sure there was no leaks, . . . and especially at night, we were the roving exterior security detail.

    One late evening, . . . almost midnight . . . up on 01 level, . . . where the Asroc (anti submarine rocket) launch station was, . . . one of my E5's on that patrol, . . . heard a bunch of noise coming from up on top of the launch statrion.

    He hollered up there, . . . ordering the offenders down, . . . not knowing it was just a couple of E3 deck apes smoking pot and giggling like a couple of school girls.

    They got quiet, . . . but did not come down, . . . Pete pulled out his .45 and chambered a round (normal protocol was mag in but empty chamber). When they heard that, . . . well, . . . they came down. He then marched them at gunpoint to the quarterdeck.

    The OD took over, . . . and Pete turned to the JOOD and asked him "OK, . . . what do I do with this now?". . . . meaning the .45.

    He had no idea of what to do, . . . and I was never so glad in all my life that I did not have anything at all to do with getting him qualified for his rank.

    May God bless,
    Dwight
    If you can breathe, . . . thank God.

    If you can read, . . . thank a teacher.

    If you are reading this in English, . . . thank a veteran.

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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maine-Marine View Post
    For a couple of years while in the Marines i did Physical security and Crime Prevention on Okinawa (Did my Physical Security school at Fort McClelland Al)

    When ever I inspected an Armory/weapons security area I always pulled the Military Police Vehicle up by the guard post and parked next to the fence. The Guard(s) never (hardly) told me to move.. until one day

    I pulled up, parked within 20 feet of a no parking sign, got out and walked up to the guard (an E-3 L/Cpl) and asked to go in. He said "You have to move your vehicle away from the fence."

    I (an E-5) told him No worries, I am an MP and I will only be a few minutes... unimpressed, he told me he was not letting me in until I moved the vehicle.. Again I brushed him off acted all friendly and like it was no big deal to park

    Not having ANY it he said... the vehicle blocks my line of sight and it is so close to the fence a person could use it to jump over! Move it now or I am calling the security team.

    I moved the Vehicle to the parking lot, went back and told him to get his Officer of the day....

    a short time later his OD showed up (a Captain) with the Duty SNCO .. I explained that in 2 years his guard was the only one who had correctly refused to allow me to illegal park in a no parking zone and refused to allow me entrance until I corrected the issue and it would be noted in the report
    MM

    AWESOME story and more than just a military security lesson...a Life Lesson!

    I forgot who told me this or where I learned it but it holds true for parenting, business management, sports, dog training, wife training or whatever...

    LESSON; Catch Someone doing THE RIGHT THING! And point it out to that person and that person's supervisor etc.

    Great story MM

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  5. #4
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    I was stationed at the highest speed, lowest drag, special weapons site the Army had.
    I was in the tower one week, and that week the person who was supposed to set the alarm on the way out of the maintenance building screwed up each afternoon. Instead of setting it, the slow-to-learn fellow set it off. That makes security scramble like nobody's business. I flung open the window, drew up the rifle and ordered those who were walking to the gate to drop. A colonel was one of the gaggle and he did dropped, immediately. Right into a mud puddle.
    The next day, it happened, again, and the colonel managed to be right at a mud puddle, again. Talk about lousy luck.
    The third day...yup, you guessed it. When he heard the siren, his shoulders dropped and he looked up at the tower. I yelled, "Colonel, at this time I am directing you to take three steps to your left! Now, everyone, DROP!"
    I never saw him outside that environment, but I'd be willing to bet you he would have bought me many beers at the community club had we met.
    "Reality is almost always wrong."
    Dr. Gregory House

  6. #5
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    Years ago (when our navy shot down two of Ghidafi’s fighters) we had two aircraft carriers operating in the Med and I was first engineer on the navy tanker supplying jet fuel and bunker oil to the fleet. The ship was civilian crewed with a small group of navy signal and communications types attached. We were all steaming in formation, support and gator ships in the middle and one carrier group on our port side and the other on our starboard side. I snuck up onto the bridge to check out this huge armada of warships. The carrier on our starboard used it’s signal light to inform our ship of their intention to come left and cut across our bow. The navy signalman relayed this information to our captain who was sitting in his command chair observing the show. With great gravity, the captain asked the signalman for “his recomendations ”. With a straight face, the signalman replyed “with all due respect sir, I recommend we get the f—k out of the way!”
    Slippy, Annie, Michael_Js and 3 others like this.

  7. #6
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    I was involved with one of the operational tests on the XM1 project, which became the M-1 Abrams. I was on guard duty at an ammo supply point out in the middle of nowhere, guarding the ammo they used in their night firing exercises. An XM1 rolls up, and this major jumps down and says, Step aside son, we need ammo."

    I demand he show me some ID, and he's not on my access list. I hand him back his ID and step back a ways to open up some distance, then say, "Sorry sir, you aren't on my list, so I can't let you in."

    He gets all major-huffy and starts telling me it's been a long day and he needs... and yadda yadda."

    "You aren't on my list, you don't get ammo."

    He starts towards me like he's going to come in anyway. I lock and load and point my M-16 at his face. I tell him, real low, "I've always wanted to shoot an officer. Take one more step."

    He goes all wide eyes and backs away, hands in the air. I call it in and the OD comes out and straightens it out. So they load up and the Major comes over to me, "You weren't really going to shoot me, were you?"

    I just look at him and say, "You're not on the list, you don't get in... period, sir." He gets in his tank and drives off.

    He leaves and the OD just shakes his head and says, "Good job," and we both crack up.


    Success Is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm - anonymous

  8. #7
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    @Prepadoodle

    Welcome back! Where you been you rascal you?

    Your friend,

    Slippy!

    Quote Originally Posted by Prepadoodle View Post
    I was involved with one of the operational tests on the XM1 project, which became the M-1 Abrams. I was on guard duty at an ammo supply point out in the middle of nowhere, guarding the ammo they used in their night firing exercises. An XM1 rolls up, and this major jumps down and says, Step aside son, we need ammo."

    I demand he show me some ID, and he's not on my access list. I hand him back his ID and step back a ways to open up some distance, then say, "Sorry sir, you aren't on my list, so I can't let you in."

    He gets all major-huffy and starts telling me it's been a long day and he needs... and yadda yadda."

    "You aren't on my list, you don't get ammo."

    He starts towards me like he's going to come in anyway. I lock and load and point my M-16 at his face. I tell him, real low, "I've always wanted to shoot an officer. Take one more step."

    He goes all wide eyes and backs away, hands in the air. I call it in and the OD comes out and straightens it out. So they load up and the Major comes over to me, "You weren't really going to shoot me, were you?"

    I just look at him and say, "You're not on the list, you don't get in... period, sir." He gets in his tank and drives off.

    He leaves and the OD just shakes his head and says, "Good job," and we both crack up.
    Denton likes this.

 

 

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