The official Want to hear a joke? Thread. - Page 2
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The official Want to hear a joke? Thread.

This is a discussion on The official Want to hear a joke? Thread. within the General Talk forums, part of the General Discussion category; Originally Posted by Annie Sometimes I just need a laff. This fit the bill. Pffft . Amateurs....

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Thread: The official Want to hear a joke? Thread.

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annie View Post
    Sometimes I just need a laff. This fit the bill.
    Pffft . Amateurs.


    Annie likes this.
    Keep calm and try setting SCE to AUX.
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  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Back Pack Hack View Post
    Pffft . Amateurs.


    Haha,good one! I hadn't ever seen that one. Here's for you.

    "But in the end my Immaculate Heart will triumph"--OL Fatima

  3. #13
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    Oh, all right. If it's gonna be a Pythonfest, let's return the parrot, then cut down some trees!

    Annie likes this.
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  5. #14
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    What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino???

    Elephino

    What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls on him?

    You walk him and pitch to the rhino.

    I know....corny!
    Old SF Guy, Annie and Piratesailor like this.

  6. #15
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    I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business. When this FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kind of cute for an old fart. You gotta phone number?"
    I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
    She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
    I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you." Cost me 6 stitches...but, when you're over seventy............who cares?

    **********
    I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
    Lady clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
    I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
    When you're over seventy............who cares?

    ***********
    I as talking to a young woman in the VFW last night. She looks me over said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."
    I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."
    Cost me a fat lip, but... When you're over seventy............who cares?

    ***********
    I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman
    was born just by feeling her breasts.
    "Really" she said, "Go on then... try."
    After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lost patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
    I said, "Yesterday."
    Cost me a kick in the nuts, but… When you're over seventy............who cares?

    ***********
    I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loudly, I nearly fell in. When you're over seventy............who cares?

    *********** I
    I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs."
    The woman giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
    I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
    When you're over seventy............who cares?
    I really want one of these!Hidden Content

  7. #16
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    Mister Ed walked into the bar and ordered a drink, the bartender asked, Ed, why the long face?
    paraquack and Annie like this.

  8. #17
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    A boy and his father walk into a pharmacy where they walk by the display of condoms.

    The boy turns to his father and ask what condoms are, and the father initiates an impromptu explanation of the birds and the bees.

    The boy, intrigued, asks his father, "So why are there packs of three?"

    The father picks up a three pack of condoms and says, "Well, son, this three pack is when you're in high school. One for Friday night, and two for Saturday."

    Satisfied with the answer, but still curious, the boy inquires, "But what are they packs of six for?"

    The father then goes to the pack with six condoms and says, "This pack is for when you're in college, son. Two for Friday, three for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

    The boy then point to a 12 pack of condoms and says "Wow, dad!.... a pack with twelve of them. Who uses these"?

    The father lets out a soft sign and drops his head. "Son, these are for after you get married. One for January, one for February, ......".
    paraquack likes this.
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  9. #18
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    M 2 cents worth..
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails The official Want to hear a joke? Thread.-7d19c1f1fac9123e765a7b36b7ce87e5.jpg  

    Annie and Prepared One like this.
    Agure Aut Mori

  10. #19
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    What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vender?

    "Make me one with everything."

    SDF880 and Kauboy like this.
    "But in the end my Immaculate Heart will triumph"--OL Fatima

  11. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Back Pack Hack View Post
    Oh, all right. If it's gonna be a Pythonfest, let's return the parrot, then cut down some trees!

    Back Pack Hack likes this.
    "But in the end my Immaculate Heart will triumph"--OL Fatima

 

 
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