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legacies and forgiveness

2K views 26 replies 14 participants last post by  T-Man 1066 
#1 ·
i just had a major confrontation with my family. i just want something to hand down to my boys... something from my family. my father drank his a away. i reached out to his brothers... but I got scorn in return. it was hurtful and I reacted....well... not so well.

I'm a green beret. my kids only know the name...not the deeds. I wanted to pass on something historical. my grand dads gun is the very gun that old Devil A. Hatfield died holding.

now it will go to a grandson who does not hold the family name....

My post is about acceptance... and forgiveness.
so i shall offer both.and be greatful I at least know the story....and it will go forward as such.
 
#4 ·
my grandpa...wow...he was a man. I remember a few things. main one was him telling me to not jump from th stairs to a chair....I did...and he whipped my ass good. but that says more about me than him. he mad a bullwhip in less than a day from scratch. He carried a six shooter on his hip his whole life.


He eloped with his 14 year old girlfrind when he was 16... on horse back with the future father in law shooting at him. she bore him 16 kids. I dont remember her...but I had haunting dreams of her as a child...I remember that.

He was quiet...a gun smith who made shot guns in the garage. and he never drank a drop of alcohol....but he spawned enough drinkers to keep kessler in business....says alot about how he was

he has four preacher boys.... and all of them...well they ain't saints.

My dad...he was a middle child....7th grade educated..... beat into the man he became.

My old grandpa...I remeber one event...well two...I hit my brother with a golf club and grandpa whipped my ass.... then he told the electrician who had climbed the pole outside his house that he would shoot him when the light went out on his porch...cause he tried to pay a late payment to the man.


the light didn't go out.


Me? I dont know much more than that...I'm not steeped in my family history... why? its full of betrayal. brothers who did shit I cant understand.

i know me...but I know them too.

I wil start with my history...and build outward. but it would be nice to have a start point beyond myself.
 
#5 ·
my grandpa...wow...he was a man. I remember a few things. main one was him telling me to not jump from th stairs to a chair....I did...and he whipped my ass good. but that says more about me than him. he mad a bullwhip in less than a day from scratch. He carried a six shooter on his hip his whole life.

He eloped with his 14 year old girlfrind when he was 16... on horse back with the future father in law shooting at him. she bore him 16 kids. I dont remember her...but I had haunting dreams of her as a child...I remember that.

He was quiet...a gun smith who made shot guns in the garage. and he never drank a drop of alcohol....but he spawned enough drinkers to keep kessler in business....says alot about how he was

he has four preacher boys.... and all of them...well they ain't saints.

My dad...he was a middle child....7th grade educated..... beat into the man he became.

My old grandpa...I remeber one event...well two...I hit my brother with a golf club and grandpa whipped my ass.... then he told the electrician who had climbed the pole outside his house that he would shoot him when the light went out on his porch...cause he tried to pay a late payment to the man.

the light didn't go out.

Me? I dont know much more than that...I'm not steeped in my family history... why? its full of betrayal. brothers who did shit I cant understand.

i know me...but I know them too.

I wil start with my history...and build outward. but it would be nice to have a start point beyond myself.
They are all a part of you. Mine are all a part of me. We all have a story. Some members of the families had a positive influence and some had a negative influence, but all influenced us.
You are a great writer.
 
#6 ·
You know brother...I ws shocked last week....someone I never met before said that they had enjoyed listening to me for a long time.


Now I sound like a country bumpkin....but I know about all the modern cellualr protocols and such...so it sounds weird... hick meets engineer....

I love telling stories...even made up ones. I'd love to write, but Im too damn dumb to do so....

Thanks for your words....maybe I will find a way to make that work for me....mostly with lies in court , Im sure...but...well...lets not let truth get in the way of a good story....
 
#7 ·
You know brother...I ws shocked last week....someone I never met before said that they had enjoyed listening to me for a long time.

Now I sound like a country bumpkin....but I know about all the modern cellualr protocols and such...so it sounds weird... hick meets engineer....

I love telling stories...even made up ones. I'd love to write, but Im too damn dumb to do so....

Thanks for your words....maybe I will find a way to make that work for me....mostly with lies in court , Im sure...but...well...lets not let truth get in the way of a good story....
My mother's father had money. He was a kind-hearted man who gave it all away. My grandmother was left with nothing. Long story, but the topic is the H&R .22/.420 over and under. Upon my grandmother's death there was a family quarrel over the gun. At the time, the quarrel was intense. The gun is now in my gun safe. I never win life's wars but I always win the battles.
I hope to have the time to tell my son about people he never knew when I give him that old weapon. It ain't much, but it has a story. I love stories. I love objects that have stories attached to them. Odd; I hate dealing with people but I love items that have human stories that are connected to them.
 
#13 ·
I had to ponder on this for my wife has somewhat picked her family. She has three brothers that we won't shed a tear over, all three responsible for a total of 14 millennial morons if you ask me. They bickered bad when her parents left, thought she had enough ( due to her diligence mind you ) that their parents wealth shouldn't be hers equally even though her parents were the fairest people I can remember. She has cut them out of her life 100% and it still pleases her they don't even know which country she lives in.
 
#15 ·
My family had the "gun" story as well.

Almost 50 years ago, . . . a certain shotgun was labeled with my name on it, . . .

And I never did get the reason why I was refused possession when it came time, . . . but the parties involved just said no, . . . I couldn't have it.

They took everything, . . . and while I was only his nephew, . . . he and I were as close as any father and son could ever be. I was his "first born" son he didn't have, . . . and he filled in the place for the father I never had.

Together we made a pretty good team, . . . both Navy vets, . . . both Pacific areas, . . . both married "hillbilly" girls that could really cook, . . . and a ton of other similarities, including some folks thought I looked more like him that the son he finally had later in life.

Make a long story short, . . . I kinda got wrote off and out once he passed, . . . something I never understood, . . . hope it was not jealousy, . . . but will probably never know the truth of it.

One thing for sure, . . . I've long since decided that life is too short to spend time pondering things we cannot fix or understand, . . . so I just let it go.

I'm not sure about it, . . . but I think Karma may have knocked on their door, . . . his pristine and gorgeous Belgium made Browning 30-06 automatic, . . . got stolen out of the basement, . . . and I think my gun might have gone with it as well, . . . a few months after my uncle passed.

But, . . . it's all water under the bridge, . . . and I'm still heading upstream.

May God bless,
Dwight
 
#18 ·
My family had the "gun" story as well.

Almost 50 years ago, . . . a certain shotgun was labeled with my name on it, . . .

And I never did get the reason why I was refused possession when it came time, . . . but the parties involved just said no, . . . I couldn't have it.

They took everything, . . . and while I was only his nephew, . . . he and I were as close as any father and son could ever be. I was his "first born" son he didn't have, . . . and he filled in the place for the father I never had.

Together we made a pretty good team, . . . both Navy vets, . . . both Pacific areas, . . . both married "hillbilly" girls that could really cook, . . . and a ton of other similarities, including some folks thought I looked more like him that the son he finally had later in life.

Make a long story short, . . . I kinda got wrote off and out once he passed, . . . something I never understood, . . . hope it was not jealousy, . . . but will probably never know the truth of it.

One thing for sure, . . . I've long since decided that life is too short to spend time pondering things we cannot fix or understand, . . . so I just let it go.

I'm not sure about it, . . . but I think Karma may have knocked on their door, . . . his pristine and gorgeous Belgium made Browning 30-06 automatic, . . . got stolen out of the basement, . . . and I think my gun might have gone with it as well, . . . a few months after my uncle passed.

But, . . . it's all water under the bridge, . . . and I'm still heading upstream.

May God bless,
Dwight
yep....sound a lot like mine. He still has the gun....he has told everyone that it is to go to me.....but I know my cousins. I'll never see that gun. and i'm ok with that. that why i said the forgiveness word.
 
#19 ·
one of the things that turn my stomach - when people are willing to sell off the family's heritage pieces on the various TV shows ...

don't know how many times over the years - someone walks into the TV pawn shop to sell off a flintlock that came down the family tree from the Revolutionary days - I got to wonder if there's someone else in the family that would have paid the price $$$$ ...
 
#21 ·
I have often thought about this... what legacy to pass down.

my conclusion... the legacy handed to me was hard work, faith, and loyalty.... my kids do not know my grandfather, he died before they were old enough. my kids do not know my mother , she died at 49.... anything I could give them would not have an impact

A guy I barely know gave my oldest son (that joined the Marines) his K-Bar that he carried in Vietnam.. that has more meaning to him then any thing I could give him from my family

I have some cabbage patch dolls my mother had.. I think often about who should get them. Also a somewhat nice stamp collection - none of my kids are interested

my oldest has my 30-30 from my teen years, my next oldest has a 30-30 I bought to replace it...

anyway... most people have no shared memory's or even real knowledge of past family members past 3-4 generations....

ANYWAY - I think Faith, Hard work, and loyalty are the best legacies to hand down ..everything else is material that is immaterial
 
#22 ·
I agree and for the most part I have asked to be removed from all wills. My grand father died last year....his will was clear and there were properties that were to go to my mothers surviving children. I had already explained that I would be giving any and all to my brothers once it was adjudicated.

well, now that my uncle is the executor....he is not executing the will. I have no direct involvement in this, but it breeds resentment. it shows the ugliness that exists in people.
 
#27 ·
Quick story. Not gun related, but legacy related.

My grandpaw was born Christmas day, 1911. named Carol. Great grandpaw and grandmaw was given a mantle clock with a chicken on it. Up to my generation everybody was fighting chickens, so some significance. Grandpaw died in 1963. Dad told grandmaw the only thing he wanted was the clock when she passed, he was the oldest child and also was the only one still fighting chickens. Fast forward 35 years later. An out-of-state aunt asked grandmaw who at this time had very bad Alzheimers, if her daughter, my cousin, could have the clock upon grandmaws passing. Sure. grandmaw forgot it was promised to Dad 35 years prior. about 6 years later, after Dad died, we had the funeral. At the fellowship lunch at the church, the out-of-state aunt immediately brought up the clock, and wanted to take it back home for my cousin. In a bad moment I agreed. Next day she came over to pick up the clock. I had already removed the pendulum. 15 years later, nobody has ever called and asked about it. I know clocks need a pendulum that is specifically weighted for that particular clock. This tells me it didn't mean crap to my cousin, and it is probably sitting in a box in a closet somewhere. Pisses me off!
 
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