Investing in Relationships
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Investing in Relationships

This is a discussion on Investing in Relationships within the General Prepper and Survival Talk forums, part of the Survivalist, Prepper, Bushcrafter, Forest Rangers category; I do believe safety is about a well-educated & well-trained community, who has people that are kind/civil with each other. Most people trying to solo ...

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Thread: Investing in Relationships

  1. #1
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    Investing in Relationships

    I do believe safety is about a well-educated & well-trained community, who has people that are kind/civil with each other. Most people trying to solo a SHTF scenario would just get picked off, myself included.

    I had a 45-minute online meeting with a guy online through a platform called Lunchclub, which after two months of it I wouldn't recommend as it is like awkward professional speed dating. This guy was giving me the sort of cult creep red flag vibes honestly. The being "open and vulnerable" tactic, I believe to try to find weak spots in the armor he could hook into. Kept asking about personal stuff that is none of his business. On top of a general answer for everything, even things I was never asking for a solution to.

    One question that got me bristled up, was "So how do you reach out to people and make friends?" I told him that I don't.

    First of all, I have a temperament and personal hangups from what I like to call "life's unfortunate events" that drive a lot of people away. I can't blame them, I'm not exactly a ball of joy to be around, and after the things I have seen, I don't have the most optimistic perspective of people and the way they treat others. I work the best I can on myself so I am not a burden to others, however, there are some things you can't just weld back together on a person to make them fit for the general public. People like me the best, and I feel most comfortable, when I have a job to do, I get paid, and then we part ways. I have a wife and two dogs and after a lifetime of having to figure out how to live without much positive social interaction, I don't need much. I really prefer my interactions brief, with a purpose, clean and simple.

    Not telling anyone here, something they probably don't already know or feel about themselves. So I am curious, so are any of you socially inclined, community-oriented? If so how do you choose who to invest time into, and has it been reliable/accurate?
    Last edited by SAR-1L; 11-20-2020 at 03:53 PM.
    Denton, Eyeball, inceptor and 2 others like this.
    When people refuse to cooperate the inevitable result is conflict.
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  2. #2
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    Yup. I’m not a social creature, either. My wife prefers I don’t go here not stores with her because my patience with people diminishes dramatically within seconds of crossing the threshold.
    My best friend lives next door. He is more reclusive than I am. He is also a vet, which means we share training and that’ll come in handy during sporty times.
    inceptor, Slippy, SAR-1L and 4 others like this.
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  3. #3
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    Learned long time ago to avoid interaction with most people. Sure will go have a beer now and then at the local bar but it's when and if "I" want. Just to gossip with the neighbors. Other then the family that's all I need.
    Slippy, SAR-1L, Denton and 2 others like this.
    That which doesn't kill me had better start running.

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  5. #4
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    I have very few close friends. Those who are I trust with my life. Everyone else is merely an 'acquaintance'.
    T-Man 1066, Slippy, SAR-1L and 3 others like this.
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  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Back Pack Hack View Post
    I have very few close friends. Those who are I trust with my life. Everyone else is merely an 'acquaintance'.
    This right here.

    I have 3 friends, all who have been friends for 25-40 years, that I tell them anything you want or need, is yours. I am fiercely independent, try to be sociable to a point, but if I quarantined, someone would have to remind me, as most days I wouldn't realize it.

    As for the acquaintances, easy come easy go.
    Slippy, SAR-1L, Eyeball and 1 others like this.

  7. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAR-1L View Post
    I do believe safety is about a well-educated & well-trained community, who has people that are kind/civil with each other. Most people trying to solo a SHTF scenario would just get picked off, myself included.

    I had a 45-minute online meeting with a guy online through a platform called Lunchclub, which after two months of it I wouldn't recommend as it is like awkward professional speed dating. This guy was giving me the sort of cult creep red flag vibes honestly. The being "open and vulnerable" tactic, I believe to try to find weak spots in the armor he could hook into. Kept asking about personal stuff that is none of his business. On top of a general answer for everything, even things I was never asking for a solution to.

    One question that got me bristled up, was "So how do you reach out to people and make friends?" I told him that I don't.

    First of all, I have a temperament and personal hangups from what I like to call "life's unfortunate events" that drive a lot of people away. I can't blame them, I'm not exactly a ball of joy to be around, and after the things I have seen, I don't have the most optimistic perspective of people and the way they treat others. I work the best I can on myself so I am not a burden to others, however, there are some things you can't just weld back together on a person to make them fit for the general public. People like me the best, and I feel most comfortable, when I have a job to do, I get paid, and then we part ways. I have a wife and two dogs and after a lifetime of having to figure out how to live without much positive social interaction, I don't need much. I really prefer my interactions brief, with a purpose, clean and simple.

    Not telling anyone here, something they probably don't already know or feel about themselves. So I am curious, so are any of you socially inclined, community-oriented? If so how do you choose who to invest time into, and has it been reliable/accurate?
    I hear ya @SAR 1L

    Most times I am the "life of the party" guy, and being in business for the better part of 35 years a certain amount of salesmanship is required regardless of my Title.

    Having said that, after I make my living, I'm pretty happy not to have too many social interactions. I've got my good friends who we talk often but I can count on 2 hands the number of people (outside family) that we have hosted repeatedly at Slippy Lodge.

  8. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAR-1L View Post
    ..So I am curious, so are any of you socially inclined, community-oriented? If so how do you choose who to invest time into, and has it been reliable/accurate?

    I've always been a Lone Wolf and rarely socialise..
    But in a post-Apoc SHTF world I'd certainly shack up with people who know about the things I don't, such as guns, vehicles, hunting, first-aid, women etc-

    'Survivors 1975' clip-


    “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those be well-tried before you give them your confidence" -George Washington
    “Associate yourself with men of good quality, for ‘tis better to be alone than in bad company"- George Washington
    "Bad company corrupts good character" (Bible:1 Corinthians 15:33)
    "If you hang around with losers you become a loser"- Donald Trump
    "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm" (Bible: Proverbs 13:20)
    Denton, inceptor and Weldman like this.

  9. #8
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    @SAR-1L I feel like I am the female version of you! I don't really like people because of experiences, don't easily trust people, and have learned not to confide in others (even basic information about myself). People are really judgmental, and will use anything you say against you, however innocuous it is. So, I have no close friends. Lately I've been questioning it and thinking about how I can meet people who are similarly-minded as me. I became a member of my local rod and gun club. That is a good place to find pro-2nd Amendment people and strict constitutionalists. I haven't made any friends there yet (still waiting for my "key" card to come in the mail), but I knew I was in the right place the minute I went inside (no one was muzzled; it was a choice).

    I can tell that you are an honest man because the guy's questions made you uncomfortable and you prefer short interactions. All honest people feel that they must tell the truth at all times, and it does lead to their downfall. I used to be this way, very gullible. Then I had a frenemy at work who was a great conniver/schemer and would ask me seemingly friendly questions just in order to see what I would say so that she could gossip about it. She was a great manipulator. I really learned a lot from my experiences with her. These are the low-bellied snake-people that you have to watch out for, and it seems like you found one. The only way to speak to them is to reflect back what they say to you but in a non-obvious way. "Oh really? That's interesting..." or turn the question on them - "Tell me, how do YOU make friends?" Don't give an opinion because they'll twist it when they gossip to others. A sure sign of a snake is someone who makes statements that you find yourself asking, "Was that a put-down or a compliment?" They are masters of this.

    So, don't look for friendship at work. It will backfire. You're wise to simply stick to the duties at hand on your job, especially nowadays. Totally innocuous comments that you have made to someone at work could be reported to HR and get you in trouble. There are now posters all over workplaces about how to "report" someone for this or that behavior. I worked at a school that had a "bias reporting" (any opinion you have that someone else didn't like).

    Rod & Gun Club is the only way right now, if you're looking for something better than a bar.

  10. #9
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    OK, I see a trend here. Yep I am antisocial and honestly, have no close friends. Sure I have friends but no one close. Before the virus, I would mainly socialize at church but haven't been since March and won't go again until vaccinated. My wife spends 4 days/nights away each week caring for very elderly family members, so I'm alone most of the time when not at work. I'm at peace with myself and have plenty to do on the homestead, especially caring for 9 dogs, 2 cats & 4 horses. I rarely drink & never to excess, which is probably a good thing.

    When younger, my wife was a social butterfly so we went out lots. Went out so much I had 2 tuxedos. But as she has aged, she has become more like me and prefers no one around and likes staying home. It is hard on her taking care of her mom & aunt and when really down, she asks me to remind her that one day hopefully we will have the time just to relax and enjoy a morning on the back porch, drinking hot tea & enjoying the view. Just the two of us.
    Eyeball, inceptor and Michael_Js like this.

  11. #10
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    I have found few people worth me investing my time in, and even fewer I would trust. I have acquaintances and associates but no true friends outside of my wife and the only trust I had was in her and my brother.
    " All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: Freedom, Justice, Honor, Duty, Mercy, Hope" .Hidden Content

 

 
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