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Sat morning humor. Favorite Marine/Military Sayings

5K views 52 replies 17 participants last post by  Maxxdad 
#1 ·
Here are few I've said, been said to me or I have heard said.

Place: Bar in Subic Bay, PI. Said very loud.

"Chief? Chief? I thought that said Chef"! While looking at his belly. Got punched for that.


Place: Whore House just down the street from the above, different tour. Also very loud.

"Yes honey, the Navy DID invent Sex, The Marines just included WOMAN"! Yes, got slammed for that one too.


Place: Bar in Patia Beach, Thailand. Said too loud to a Lt.Jg Navy Seal.

"Yes Sir, the Marines are a Department of the Navy, the MENS Department" Yep, you guessed it. Again.


Dickskinners = Hands. As in "Get your Dickskinners out of your Army Gloves" (Pockets)

Boogerhook = Finger. As in "Keep your Boogerhook off the Bangswitch (Trigger) until you have a target".

POG = People other than grunts. As in "****ing non hacking POG Cheesedick" Also see RAMF = Rear Area Muther****er". or REMF = Rear Echelon MF'r.

Bam = Broad Assed Marine or WM = Female Marine.

OK, your turn. Share the love.
Maxx
 
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#2 ·
Love it! Thanks for the smile this morning.
 
#5 ·
Army Drill Sergeant talking about paratroopers:
"Ain't but two things fall outa the sky, son. Birdshit and fools."
 
#8 ·
It'a FUBAR. The SNAFU is on their side. I was the Private Benjamin of the Marine Corp, I remember my CO asking me why I ever joined her Marines, to which I replied "Ma'am, I love organization and I love men, so I joined an organization of men." I was 6ft tall,170 lbs, and could dead lift 200 lbs-I was also 36-22-36, they had to special order my uniforms and I was told my figure was "unacceptable" by my DI, who had just gotten chewed out by the CO during uniform fitting, with much finger pointing in my direction. I remember asking her exactly what did they think I could make go away? BAM-Bad Ass Marine who is going to BAM BAM your head. I was offered a medical discharge in '74 and my then CO told me if I didn't take it,she would find some way to court martial me. My stories of the Marine Corp are way different then other people's.:roll:
 
#9 ·
Love it Becca.
Thx

I demanded a court martial during NJP. The Col didn't know whether to shit or go blind. He knew I had him, so he transferred me to Iwakuni Japan instead.
Military Justice? yea right.
Maxx
 
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#11 ·
My 1st Sgt, to the what if's "First Sgt what id this happens" "If my sister had a dick she would be my brother now wouldn't she" If a bullfrog had wings, we wouldn't bump his ass when he jumped.
 
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#14 ·
I was up for an NJP for signing out a humvee as duty driver 2 days in a row. My Marine a PFC was losing his mom to MS, he needed to go home so I took his day. But I asked him if I could just sign it out to him so no one would think anything of it. Before I got to see the Captain, he came in and said "Corporal Weber quit looking like that your scaring the shit out of me". He looked at the evidence and called BS on the E-6 that charged me with forging documents.
 
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#16 ·
My Dad worked his entire life at Pratt & Whitney Aircraft, a large portion of that in High Altitude Testing. He had a part in the development of the engines in the SR-71 Blackbird.
He had a Top Secret government clearance, and would never reveal the performance figures for that aircraft. The published figures were intentionally lower than real, so he said. When I asked him what the true figures were, he would not tell me. His own son.
Dad passed away in March, 2000.
I still miss him.
 
#18 ·
Well I don't know.
I do know that the fuel tanks on the SR-71 were famous for leaking while on the ground. The design was such that they didn't seal until the bird was at altitude or speed. It had to be refueled very shortly after takeoff.

I hesitate to dispute the memory of a child as I know that what I saw as a child may be tainted by time. Memories change and lets face it, security does fail.. I don't know. i just might not have been on attack brother.
Maxx
 
#19 · (Edited)
OK, here is my favorite story about growing up on a Military Base.

My real name (before I legally changed it years later and for obvious reasons) was Ronald McDonald. yes really.

When we lived at Ft.Belvoir Virginia, my best friend name was Charles Brown III. yes Charlie Brown. Yes really.

There was no high school on base so we had to take the bus to Hayfield Secondary.

Charlie was a Junior and I was a Freshman. One afternoon we were on the bus coming home form school. Seated near the back left of the bus Charlie was next to the window me next to him. a we approached the gate Charley raised up and shot a paperclip or folder piece of paper out the window bouncing it off the window of a Green staff car that was passing us on our left. the Staff car screeched to a stop at the gate. The MP just nodded his head obviously signalling that he had seen Charlies transgression. The bus was stopped the MP, a huge fellow in a white MP helmet got on, walked to the back leaned over me and asked Charley what his name was. Charlie just looked up and just as smart assed as he could muster said "Charley Brown, what's yours" The no longer smiling MP reached down and jerked Charley right out of the seat. Woooosh. He was dragging Charlie off the bus, stopped, turned around and said to me. And whats your name son. I of course responded with an equally smart assed "RONALD MCDONALD". And woooosh, I was being dragged off the bus too.

Stuffed into the Gate hut we were told to call our fathers. 10 minutes latter Col. Brown and Maj. McDonald arrived to claim their sons. LOL
 
#23 ·
So in he category of funny crap I've done.

I had this Warrant Officer who was a real dick.. I mean this guy had his picture in the Dictionary under DICK. He was horrible. One of those guys who climbed the success ladder on the broken backs and careers of others. Ultimately he was rewarded with a very prestigious posting to CENTCOM.

So, several of us were around one day having a cold beer and marveling at how well this weasel negotiated the various hoops when I had an idea.

I called around to a friend (Navy Doc) who had been at the internal med unit there and got the number.

Called the medical department and explained that i was a "Good Friend" of this fellow and really needed to reach him before the county health department got to him. He really needs to hear this from me. My name is XXXXX and he has my number, please have him call.

Well, as the story goes, that spread like wildfire through the offices and when he checked in, had to undergo some very special tests.
Maxx
 
#26 ·
46th Field Artillery Group motto: Steel On Target
5th Infantry Division motto: We Will
(And We Did, by God!)
 
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